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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: GRATE (11/19/15)
“The Creature from the Black Lagoon,” a 1950s sci-fi horror movie, had its counterpart in Brother Stephen―the Preacher from the Black Lagoon!

He had no use for colour television. His world was purely black and white.

But mainly black.

Every member of his flock wore black, as a ‘blackdrop’ to his street corner preaching. Nobody could miss their pervasive declaration of doom and gloom, with faces perpetually outdoing each other in grimness; and with thick, bushy brows protruding above fierce, brooding eyes and luxuriant facial hair.

But his male disciples looked even more threatening…

Any time they gathered on street corners, as ominous, placard-holding groups, a casual observer might seriously wonder if these people might not eat their own young.

Once his dreary group had selected a corner, one of them would step up to a portable pulpit and offer a brief testimoany; devoid of any cheerful content. An ideal precursor for Brother Stephen, who would sniff the air as obviously as he could, while shouting out, “I can smell something burning!”

Anyone in the passing parade who paused, or glanced his way, could find himself immobilised by a withering stare―before being caught in the spotlight of an elongated forefinger. By then, having filled his lungs to release a roar that could be heard for blocks, Brother Stephen was in full flight, rounding on his victim with a tirade. “It’s you sir! Burning in hell! Your sins have become a fetid stench in the nostrils of every angel in heaven! Repent!”

The target was then encased within a catalogue of sins, crimes and misdemeanours that few of his victims would have ever considered―let alone committed. A catalogue that got steadily more encumbered with salacious details.

Brother Stephen’s major focus was sin, which he defined solely as everyone’s defiant rebellion against God―deserving only of death. And the sooner this judgement fell, the better. Not for him to see that sin also related to falling short of God-given potential through lack of faith―a lack that could be imposed on victims of abuse by political or religious bullies like him. Nor did he ever link sin to apathy towards human need, which Jesus’ parable of the sheep and the goats describes in Matthew 25. Mindsets like Brother Stephen’s never gave compassion an even chance.

Most passers-by broke free, to continue passing by. However some poor souls got caught up in these accusatory avalanches; to sometime later re-emerge, all in black as new recruits. They were doubtlessly drilled in rapid-fire methods of criticism and condemnation, but perhaps cheered by such heartening ditties as “If you’re worthless and you know it, clap your hands...”

Bemused regular spectators smirked about Brother Stephen. Did he rise early each day to guarantee that hell stayed hot? Would he be standing beside the red-glowing grate of that eternal furnace, holding a long stoking rod? Absolutely! They could just see him gleefully poking down through that grate, stirring the coals and watching flames leap out―almost in search of somebody new to devour. These regulars had dubbed him Stoker Steve, a guy who could make hell sound so hot that even Satan would wish he had a teddy bear for comfort…

Straight from that abyss, sulphurous fumes accompanied Brother Stephen’s messages. If ever any earthly candidate qualified for any sudden vacancy for an angel of death, he was your man.


Had The Hound of Heaven’s Francis Thompson been looking for inspiration for this poetic classic, with its unhurried and gently-persistent tone, he would have had to keep on looking; for nothing about Brother Stephen even hinted at gentle persistence.

Here was no hound of heaven…

Brother Stephen was the original pit bull―a pulpit bull!
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This article has been read 1006 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
11/26/15
Love the last line! Classic!

This kept my attention and touched on the subject in an overt and invert way.

Well done!

God Bless~
Melanie Kerr 
11/29/15
A very unpleasant man. I enjoyed your writing. You painted very strong images with your words.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/29/15
I enjoyed your puns. They provided that desperately needed comedic relief. You painted the darkness brilliantly. I think many have been trapped by a fire-and-brimstone sermon. I definitely had deep sadness for the MC that he might never know the true light that Jesus uses to bathe his children. Great job and wonderful imagery.
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
11/30/15
I have since plucked my bushy eyebrows, shaved the unflattering facial hair, and am now a vision in loudly colorful caftans.

My pulpit is grace, upon which platform my heart yearns.
Danielle King 
11/30/15
'But his male disciples looked even more threatening.' Now that ticked me to death as I thought the grim, bushy browed faces belonged to the ladies of the gloomy flock. And I trust you are not related to brother Stephen as the many vivid images you conjured up were brilliant. A most entertaining read in spite of the overabundantly joyous grim reaper and his merry flock.
Bonnie Bowden 
12/01/15
The ending summed the story up nicely. I can smell something burning all the way through my computer.
Beth LaBuff 
12/02/15
Wow! This is masterful from beginning to end. I love the satirical touches throughout. (And this made me consider my own "methods.") Excellent writing from a master!
C D Swanson 
12/03/15
Getting to be a habit...LOL

Congrats Noel~
Loni Bowden-Horn 
12/03/15
Noel, Congratulations on your well-deserved win in EC. You are simply masterful with words. The descriptions of the preacher's delivery is etched in my head. Even though he may be menancing to some, I believe he may have reached others for Christ. I was reading that is one of the most prevalent ways that people are deceived is believing there is no Hell. Although this is not my way of witnessing it is sometimes necessary to let someone know, I can Smell Something Burning.
Bonnie Bowden 
12/03/15
Congratulations, Noel, on your well deserved EC award. I thought it was your writing from your powerful mastery of words.
Yvonne Blake 
12/03/15
Congratulations, Noel! You know how to pack those puns into every line - and still convey a serious thought with them.
Trudy Newell
12/04/15
Noel, Congratulations! God has blessed you with rich talent which you are using for His glory. What more can be said. I look forward to seeing more of your entries.