The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/14/15
Congratulations on a very graphic portrayal - without salacious details - of the numbing trauma of sustained abuse; and how the evil one exploits it.
However your title threw me, because Onesimus was Philemon's male slave, and your MC is clearly the girl from Acts 16. This added confusion that another name for your title would have avoided. Otherwise, this is excellent and thoughtful writing.
08/15/15
A painful reminder of the toll abuse has on a family member. I was also confused by the title.

Red Ink: The sentence about confiding in my mother was awkward.