Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TOURIST ATTRACTION(S) (natural or man-made) (08/06/15)
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TITLE: Onesimus | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gary Ritter
08/08/15 -
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My brother’s use of me became a weekly habit. Because of the pain, the shame, and the guilt I felt in not confiding in my mother, I began drifting and dreaming during those awful hours. In that time I gained a friend who gave me solace and took me into places in my mind I’d never imagined possible. No one else knew my friend existed. Lucifer was full of light and the gifts he gave me were beyond anything I’d envisioned. He counseled that I must grow and mature in the spirits so as to be of special use to him and to others. He was so kind and gentle, such a contrast to my brother, that I believed every word Lucifer said. Whatever he directed me to do I complied without hesitation. I knew he had my best interests at heart.
It was only after I’d completely submitted to Lucifer’s will that he exposed his real nature. By then it was too late. It was true that he enabled me to see what others couldn’t, to predict the future with stunning accuracy. Lucifer’s spirit guided me into unknown realms. Many men took note of me upon hearing through my visions what they would soon experience. Fear came over me because of that which I saw, but Lucifer turned upon me in anger and the beast he became in that moment convinced me I was trapped.
He led two men to me who began using my talents to make money. They made it known far and near that I would accurately tell anyone’s fortune. My fame spread even as far as Thessalonica and Macedonia. Tourists and those on business to our city of Philippi clamored to hear my pronouncements. I hated it but was bound by powers and authorities I had no strength to resist.
I heard of a man named Paul. People began talking about him and I grew curious. At first Lucifer caused intense nausea within me at the mention of Paul’s name, and I had to banish any thoughts of him that arose. But Lucifer couldn’t resist what was in his nature to do. He directed me to annoy Paul to the point that it would destroy the message he preached.
Lucifer had kept that message from my ears with constant static whenever Paul spoke, so I had no idea what it was. I began following Paul and his friends, shouting, “These men are servants of the Most High God who are telling you the way to be saved.” For days I repeated this mantra and it appeared that Lucifer’s calculations were right. I was annoying Paul to no end and disrupting his preaching.
My life changed when Paul could endure it no longer. I had just blurted out my message when he stopped, looked heavenward, and then directly at me. He said, “In the Name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!”
Suddenly, the heaviness of the continual presence of Lucifer lifted. The weight that had burdened my shoulders for ten years simply left me. I flexed my body to feel this new buoyancy and realized my mind had cleared. I blinked as light flooded in. The dark haze through which I’d viewed the world had dissipated. The constant static in my mind from Lucifer was gone. Paul was speaking. I began to hear his message. No wonder Lucifer had kept Paul’s words from penetrating!
My masters quickly saw that I had changed. They erupted in anger, first at me, then at Paul. They dragged him and his friend to the marketplace where they pointed at me, pronouncing how useless I now was.
But Lucifer no longer had a hold on my life. I knew for a certainty that I was set free. Useless now to those who’d bound me, I’d become useful to God.
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However your title threw me, because Onesimus was Philemon's male slave, and your MC is clearly the girl from Acts 16. This added confusion that another name for your title would have avoided. Otherwise, this is excellent and thoughtful writing.
Red Ink: The sentence about confiding in my mother was awkward.