Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: PRIDE (inflated opinion of one’s self) (02/19/15)
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TITLE: The Giant At The Cabin Who Ate Cereal | Previous Challenge Entry
By C D Swanson
02/23/15 -
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I was alone in the cabin taking a much needed break from writing. My brain was fried from the advice from good meaning friends. You know, the kind of advice that Job got from his so called friends? Well, mine were the updated version.
"Maybe you should do away with the Christian theme"—or—"You use too many methaphors"—and—"You have a juvenile style, perhaps you should read other Christian books to help you determine how you should write."—and finally—"Maybe God doesn't want you to write any longer? After all you're not successful at selling any of the books you write. Take a hint."
Anyhow, I digress. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was alone in the cabin taking a much needed break from writing, when I heard a thud on my wooden front porch and the house shook. That's when I heard the bang on the front door. And, there he stood! He must have been close to 7 feet tall.
My neck creaked as I glanced up at his obscured hairy face. "What do you want?"
His voice boomed like rolling thunder, "A place to set fer a spell. I'm kinda hungering for something ta eat."
"Well, I only have cereal…”
“Dat’s good.” He barreled past me, “Can I sit fer a spell on yer fancy sofa?”He sat; the couch sagged under his weight. “Ah, ma’am. Dis here is ‘bout the most comfortabalist thing I set down on.”
I watched with great scrutiny as I quickly poured cereal into a huge bowl fit for the giant. “Will this do?”
“Oh yes, jus’ fine.”
“Hellooo?”
Oh brother! Miss boastful was at my door.
“Come on in.”
She stopped in her tracks. Her nose wrinkled. “Phew! What’s that pungent odor? Did a skunk spray your home?”
“No, Annie.”
Her eyes popped when she saw the giant. “Who’s that?”
“That’s a friend that stopped by to say hello.” I laughed despite the circumstances. If this giant could keep Annie away, even for the day…I’d be ever grateful and put up with the stink that now permeated every corner of the cabin, and made a home in every piece of fabric.
He stood. “I’m Ryder. ‘Lo ma’am.”
I nearly toppled over with laughter. This was priceless. Now, this was something to write about! Oh what I wouldn’t give for a camera shot of her frozen face painted with fear.
“Hello” she said as she inched toward the doorway.
“Yes, Ryder stopped by to keep me company and sit for a spell. Would you care to join us?”
“Oh no! Thank you. I’d love to—however—my schedule dictates otherwise.”
“Well, that’s a shame. Ryder and I would of loved for you to stay.”
“Yes. Well, I’ve a lecture today on my number one best seller. You know my newest book that is currently topping the charts on the New York Times Best Seller List? This being the tenth book that has made the list. Oh my...” Here she pauses to make her next point painfully clear, “Sorry Simone, I guess you wouldn’t know that feeling after writing sixteen books and barely selling three in the bunch.”
“No, I wouldn’t know the feeling.” I parroted.
The giant walked up close to Annie and boomed, “Well, I’ve a feeling that might change real quick. I’m thinking dat she’s gonna find out might quick wad it’s like ta have a best seller one day soon.”
Annie swayed holding her nose, “I hope so. It’s indescribable being brilliant, talented and so successful.”
“Right. Well, I’m Ryder Buttons, CEO and owner of Godly Publications. I worked undercover this past week to find potential authors for our company, and to interact with the authors already with us. Annie, although your books have been doing well for us, I don’t think I’d like to do business with you any longer. You’re not the type of individual we’d want to represent us through their books. ” He turned to Simone, “I’d love to read your books…”
That’s when they heard a thump; Annie was sprawled on the ground…
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Hello Everyone,
Unfortunately, I submitted the "wrong" unedited version and hence the "third" person left in at the end as Allan mentioned. I thought I had attached the correct copy...alas I did not!
Oh well...I hope it doesn't distract too much from the story.
Allen, thank you for your "observant eye," I appreciate it.
God bless~
Wing His Words
I will remember this story for decades, and that's how you tell a winner. This is so funny when Annie gets her due. I absolutely loved this, as it is brilliant and funny and made me smile a mile wide. This is it, this is the winner in my book.
I'm still chuckling, just watching Annie hit the floor.
Blessings....
I look forward to your next article my dear friend!
God Bless!
Thank you for your constant encouragement of us all here at FW.