The Official Writing Challenge
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This has a lot of depth to it and really makes the reader think. You created some vivid pictures and created some awesome suspense. Though you did a good job of showcasing the night, I had a harder time seeing the and day part, but that good just be my perception. You definitely created an interesting and creative story.
07/23/14
Interesting . . . and eerie. Although I am not a fan of vampire stories, there are vivid descriptions in this allegory - using great vocabulary.
07/23/14
Not a fan of "darkness or vampire stories" but appreciate great writing, and you have penned an excellent tale.

Well done.

God bless~