Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Sellout (05/26/11)
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TITLE: Haiku to You, Too | Previous Challenge Entry
By Steve Fitschen
06/02/11 -
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“Dad, what are you talking about?”
“Didn’t you hear what the man said? He said ‘Haiku to you: Well done with golf cart/Plant guy lives in the wicker/Knit’s a wily taste.’ He said the same thing last time we came here. I couldn’t even remember what a haiku was. But I looked it up, and I was ready for him this time. And mine was better. Nobody even knows what his means. Oooooooh—so deep! Mine was very practical. Everyone knows that beans—
“No, Dad! He said, ‘How do you do? Welcome to Walmart. Can I give you a sticker? It’s a smiley face.’”
“What? He said ‘icky snail-y trace?’”
“No, Dad, he said . . . . Oh never mind. Come on, let’s go.
“What do you mean ‘Came on like snow’?”
“FOLLOW ME!”
“Swallowed a bee? Honey, are you OK? Wait for me! Where are we going?”
“Three aisles over.”
“We’re going to Free Trial Heaven? Is that something new here? Sounds great. What can we get?”
“Dad, there’s only one thing we need and the sooner we get it the better.”
“Wow, honey, that’s great. Pears, honey, sun screen, seaweed, sand, tea, tuna, and what was that last one? Vegetable butter? That’s a lot of great stuff for free. I’m not sure what we’ll do with the seaweed. Maybe we shouldn’t take any of that.
“OK, here we are. NO! NO! NO! NO!”
“So, so, so, sooooo . . . what?
“They can’t be sold out of hearing aid batteries again!”
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My dad was hard of hearing too. He never wanted to admit it though, so he learned to lip read.