"Ummm...Honey...why do you ask?" | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: "Ummm...Honey...why do you ask?" | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kellie Henningsen
09/02/10
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Hi Mom,

So, guess what? I’ve decided to quit again. I’m sending you this email so I have a little accountability. Oh, and I told the kids too. They were stunned to put it mildly, but then they decided to help.

“How about this, Mommy?” Dougie asked. “If you have a drink, we get a soda!” All three kids, their mouths wide open in shock, waited for my reply.

You should have seen their faces when I agreed. Their eyes lit up, smiles broke out, and cheers arose while visions of endless soda danced in their heads. Their lack of confidence in me was truly sad.

So, I’m either going to have hyper cavity filled kids or I’m going to succeed.

Will keep you posted.

*****

Good morning, Mom!

Had to let you know how yesterday went.

Well…I made it through the entire day without a drink! Aren’t you proud of me? Have to say it was tough. A bottle of water just doesn’t cut it sometimes. Today could be a long one. Will update again soon…

*****

Hey…it’s me again….

I have to vent. The kids made me real mad yesterday. I mean, what right do they have to control what I drink or don’t drink? I am an adult and should not feel guilty. So…right before lunch today, in the midst of my pity party, I had an epiphany--the basement fridge.

Let’s just say, I had a sudden urge to do laundry and took the stairs two at a time with my basket of clothes. After opening the fridge door, I panicked briefly but then in the back, behind the eggs, nestled two ice cold cans. It was pure ecstasy. I lunged for a can, cracked the top, and savored a few quick gulps. What a buzz!

But…then I had a problem. The kids often get stuff out of the fridge so what was I to do with the half empty can? I couldn’t take it upstairs. I thought of putting it back in the fridge but they would no doubt see it. So, you’re going to love this one…I brilliantly stuck it between two bottles of laundry detergent.

Funny how many times I had to check the laundry this afternoon – miserable clothes just wouldn’t dry. LOL

But, now here it is hours later and I’m laden with guilt once again. Guilt over the fact I have no self control and guilt over deceiving my children. Just call me pathetic.

Tomorrow has to be better…

*****

It’s just me…

You ready for this?

Timmy has been asking for Fruit Loops for days now. You know I normally don’t let the kids eat those but for some reason I’ve been more inclined to give in to their wants recently. Not sure what that’s all about.

While we went out grocery shopping, I had Dougie and Rachel do their Saturday chores. You’d be impressed – I have them all set up with a card file system now with their daily and weekly chores in it. Yellow cards for daily; blue for weekly. Guess what blue card Dougie had for today? Yup, the “Do your laundry” card.

Can ya see where I’m headin with this? Cause I wish I had.

Dougie met me at the door when we returned home; arms crossed, foot tapping.

“Mommy? Were you drinking Mt. Dew in the basement?” his left eyebrow shot up accusingly.

I can’t tell you all the thoughts that ran through my head. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry or beg forgiveness. I mean, really, I had nothing to be ashamed of and yet everything to be ashamed of. What could I say?

“Ummm…Honey…why do you ask?” I grasped toward any route out.

“I found an open can by the clothes soap,” he said in a flat voice; the eyebrow arching higher.

“Ok, I admit it!” I sobbed with tears in my eyes but laughter in my voice. I mean I was sorry, but then again, it struck me as ridiculously funny to be questioned like this by my ten year old. However, I had cheated on my kids behind their backs so there was the guilt as well. Yeah, I was a mess.

“Kids…I can’t do this.” I told them. “I’m too weak.”

So, it’s over until the next time. Maybe one day I’ll kick the habit for good, but for now, I am sipping my sweet addiction with a big smile on my face.

Life is good once again.

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