Slice of Light | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Slice of Light | Previous Challenge Entry
By Donna Powers
04/15/10
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It’s really cold and dark in here.

If I look under the door I can see a slice of light, but there’s nothing much else to see. I can just make out the shapes of Grammy’s coats and her boots and I can see some boxes on the other side. It smells like moth balls and old dust. All I hear is Grammy’s soap operas and the loud buzz of her snoring.

I’m in the closet again.

That’s where Grammy puts me when I’m bad. I tried to explain I didn’t mean to leave the milk out last night after dinner but she got so mad because she said the milk would spoil and do I think she’s made out of money. Being made out of money would be pretty weird so of course I don’t think that. But when I told her, she just gave me that look again.

When she’s mad, her eyes get so cold. It seems like she’s angry most of the time. Sometimes I get through a whole day of doing things right and she doesn’t yell or hit me. But today she woke me up really early about the milk and then she hit me with her belt again and put me here in the closet. The belt hurts something awful but sometimes the words she says hurt almost as much as the belt. When she puts me in the closet, she always says she can’t stand to look at me any more. That used to make me cry.

I don’t want to be bad. Grammy tells me all the time I’m bad because my Mama was bad. Mama died when I was a baby so I never knew her, so maybe it’s true Mama was bad. All I know is I don’t mean to be bad. I try really, really, hard to be good so maybe someday Grammy would love me or even be kind to me. But I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

This morning, Grammy was really, really mad. She was madder than she’s been in a long time because of the milk. I don’t even know if the milk really was spoiled or just if she thought it could get spoiled, but she just yelled and yelled. While she was hitting me with the belt she kept saying over and over she doesn’t know why God gave her such a trial with me; how she doesn’t know how in the world anyone could be expected to love a wretched little child like me.

But Grammy’s wrong.

I know she’s wrong because one time my Auntie Sue came from Boston and took me to church. The man in the front of the church was reading a book to us and it said God loves us. The book said He loves us with an everlasting love. I asked Auntie Sue if the Book meant me, too and she smiled and said yes. That made me really happy. God loves me!

So I know Grammy’s wrong.

I wish Auntie Sue would come again and take me back to that church. Everyone seems happy there and it was nicer than being here with Grammy.

For now, I’m in this closet again. I wouldn’t dare talk back to Grammy (I know what happens when I do) but no matter what Grammy says, I know God loves me. And He’s powerful enough to make the whole world. So, if God loves me enough to love me with an everlasting love, I’ll bet He can help me be good so Grammy won’t hit me so much. But even if He doesn’t, I still know He loves me.

And that slice of Light means more than the one under the door.

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“… I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3 NIV

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