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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Autumn/Fall (08/27/09)
Burning tires...

Gas...

Smoke...

"Can't breathe..."

Sirens...

Pain...

"Is everyone okay? Why can't I hearing the other’s screaming? Why am I so tired..."

beep, beep, beep

"Caitlyn! You’re late!" Sarah called across the field, cupping her hands around her mouth to project her voice a little bit further.

Caitlyn grinned and started to jog, instrument in hand towards the gathering of fellow band nerds. It was a bright day, perfect for a good marching competition. She could hear familiar pieces filling the air, as her friends warmed up their fingers.

The air was crisp with the smell that could only mean fall was here. The reddened leaves crunched under her polished white shoes. It was so bright though. Caitlyn squinted, her eyes taking in the bright glare of her friend's instruments.

beep, beep, beep

"Who ordered the spit polish for everything?" She called, and her friends laughed.

Shannon tilted his head to the side and grinned. "What are you talking about Caitlyn? They're always this polished. You know that."

Caitlyn shook her head. "Must be glare, that’s got to be it."

beep, beep, beep

"Say, do you guys hear that evil metronome?" Caitlyn asked, sticking a finger in her ear. The high-pitched beep was enough to drive any person crazy every fall.

beep, beep, beep

"Caitlyn, we're off the metronome...we've been so for a while! It's time to walk the line!" Kate called.

beep, beep, beep

"Please someone, just make it stop!"

beeeeeeeeeeeee

Caitlyn screamed and covered her ears. "Make the squealing stop!"

"CLEAR!"

Beep, beep, beep

Shannon stared at his friend with a smile. "You coming, Caitlyn? It's game time. Perfect day for marching."

She looked around. Studying her friends smiling faces. Their marching uniforms were freshly pressed and shoes polished to perfection. If she looked further, flags spun at dizzying speeds, capturing the sunlight, casting rainbows around. Everything just seemed right.

"Okay, Shannon. It's game time." Caitlyn stated, making her choice. The loud squeal started up but then faded as she walked further away from the metronome to assume her position amongst her friends.

"Band A-Ten HUT!"

"HUT!"
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This article has been read 975 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Colin Nielsen
09/04/09
At the start, I was very confused and initially thought it was a mistake, but after reading the whole piece, decided it was a masterstroke of genius. Your MC was confused and dazed and hallucinating and you made the reader feel that. Very well done. I enjoyed it immensely.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
09/04/09
After several reads, I thought the "beeps" must be the sound of the machines in the hospital keeping alive the person who'd been injured. You presented the dream sequence very well.
Charla Diehl
09/05/09
I was expecting this to be about football--but not at all disappointed that it wasn't. Not sure I get the tie in to the topic, but found the story interesting.
Mariane Holbrook
09/10/09
What a great piece of writing. You'll place high with this one! Kudos!
Mariane Holbrook
09/10/09
What a great piece of writing. You'll place high with this one! Kudos!