The Official Writing Challenge
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08/29/08
Ooooo...very Twilight Zone-ish in tone. The twist at the end is brilliant!
Loved this! Scary, in a big brother is watching kind of way. Very well written.
God Bless
08/31/08
I love sci-fi--this was great!
Very creatively original sci-fi.
Intriguing, and very well written. Kudos.
09/01/08
Hmmm...a mystery. So what was in the box? A nice little piece of writing!
09/01/08
I don't get it. :(

I'm sort of thinking that this project is the implantation of identification chips into people as some believe will happen in the future as the mark of the beast (am I way off track???). So, if that's what's happening here, I really like the way you've handled the characters, calling them by their functions/careers rather than by names, which would be too personal, too human, in such a diabolical--yet very patient--plan.

Once again, I am probably way off base, but your piece certainly challenged me.
09/01/08
Very fun writing! Great job....totally left me wanting more!
09/02/08
Well-written, riveting, and scary (since the world is heading so quickly in this direction).
I'm a big fan of what I like to call "bleak future" writings, and this seemed to fit the bill. It's scary to think about technology and what will be done with it in the near future. Actually, a lot of it is already happening now.

I like how you named the characters. Clerk, Minister, Assistant, etc... It seemed to add a bit of stiffness to the story which made it all the more intriguing and intense.

Good job with this!
09/02/08
I don't get it either. :( But, yes, it is very well written. :)