The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1438 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/15/08
I love the XYZ moment -- haven't heard that in years. Very funny, and well written. Good job with the topic.
02/15/08
Excellent characterization - and you certainly put us right in that room with them all. Love the MC's internal monologue especially, and the end.
02/16/08
Oh my. Talk about a memorable introduction! I loved the humor sprinkled throughout! Especially the XYZ!!
02/17/08
What a title! This was a good story and I love the ending!
Laury
This story made me feel good all over. I love it. (I'm a sucker for a love story, anyway). It was so refreshing to see the rich couple portrayed as kind and compassionate. I loved the humor and how they got a laugh out of it. It's how, I think, many would respond.

It reminds me of the first time I met my sister's husband. They'd just driven in from A & M (whoop) and he was car sick (Perhaps she had been driving). He said "Hello" and then dashed to the toiled to barf. I'm not THAT scarey.
Oh my..... this was great! I love your sense of humor. I think it might even be as twisted as mine. lol This was such an endearing story and it kept my attention all the way through. Great job!
02/18/08
Ok, as an official sushi addict, I am mortified by this story. I love the humor sprinkled into the romance. Great job!
Too funny! Such a bungled, embarrassing beginning for your MC, but you still managed to tug at my heart strings with the love story. Great job!
So many details here and they all sparkle, I can see why it is a jewel. Would love to have a love like this.....
The details MADE this story! Great characterization, too. I loved the details like the MC tucking in his shirt and buckling his pants and all the rest. Really, really enjoyed this one!
Ahh Sir William... you have done it again. Your characters are so human. Right on topic (though what a way to show it!)
I'm with your MC... raw fish? No way, not for this little black duck.
Super job!
Well done. So funny! It reminded me of one of the scenes in 'Meet the Parents'! The poor guy - I'm just glad the inlaws reacted so well.
02/19/08
Oh, this is hilarious! I lost it on the "chain reaction", and didn't stop grinning once through the rest of the story. Priceless!
This heart-warming and humorous story was very enjoyable.
02/20/08
I loved it, though I can't understand why anyone would get sick on sushi.

The last line caused me to stumble. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I would have assumed that since they are all believers there wouldn't be a question about who was sleeping where.

Great story—one of those days that one would like to start over and do right!
02/20/08
One thing's for sure: he could hardly do anything worse after that introduction! Laugh-out-loud-funny and I like the wealthy couple's attitude, too.
One of my favorites this week! Hilarious and lighthearted, but very well written. I've read it a couple of times now and it just gets better.
02/20/08
Aw... sweet love story! This was a lot of fun to read. Your poor MC got put through the wringer. :) You're very skilled in your story-writing.
ROFL! I felt so glad to be vegetarian after reading this. LOL! It was just too funny, the "XYZ" coming from the Mother, was also too funny. I liked how you set everything in motion and kept it going with the mint and then the last line of "Separate rooms" That was just too funny! I think you did great with this one. ^_^
This is wonderful, and too much fun besides. Of course I LOVE the name of your MC's promised. :0)
I'm glad Betty's parents saw what their daughter saw in her beloved.
Excellent Sir William!
The sushi would have done me in, too. I could see this playing out as a movie, with lots more adventures of the newly engaged couple to follow. I really enjoyed the humor in the story.
02/21/08
Don't forget they'll forget this evening in a hurry. Loved the XYZ line.
02/21/08
Boy did you get a lot of comments ;) This was really good, probably because it was so real.