The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/01/07
I liked this. It's believable and shows a side of God that many of us don't really recognize. well done!
02/02/07
I loved the realism here. You painted a graphic, painful picture of the price we pay for being lost. I have a childhood friend who is now incarcerated, and I thought of him as I read. Blessings to you.
02/03/07
This felt so real, so authentic. The slang was amazingly effectiv in putting me right there. I loved the image of almost burning the verses that save you from hellfire!
Your first paragraph was
simply a masterpiece of imagery. I wonder if you know how good you are.
Blessings and congratulations!
02/05/07
You did good, dawg! Kudos!
02/05/07
PS: One more thing; if your main character had spent two more candy bars for a "hotrail" he wouldn't have been caught. Definition for those not familiar with incarceration...Hot Rail is a "look out". :)
I enjoyed this. I don't know why, but I really enjoyed the humor in the statement, "Read, don't burn."
02/06/07
William, I loved it Dawg. This is one of my favorites of yours. Very creative. How on earth did you think of using a Bible page as a rolling paper? Excellent writing.
02/06/07
Your opening line was catchy and the rest of your piece didn't disappoint either. Well done!
02/06/07
What a GREAT voice this guy has! Awesome writing style here--you struck JUST the right note.

Maybe end it with the "I was set free" line? Just a thought.

This is one of your best.
02/06/07
THIS was so COOL!

It had absolutely everything and it's just way too creative. ;)

I loved the uniqueness, the subliminal message, the humor, just the whole creation of this piece.

Kudos William. Wow!
02/06/07
I hope (for your sake) the jail part of the story isn't from personal experience :) but even if it is, this was a great piece of writing with an even better message.
02/06/07
Oh, this was great. Spiritual arson... I'll have to use that phrase sometime. I too loved the voice. It was very unbelievable and realistic.
02/06/07
The intro to this story is captivating and very well written. I really liked how the scripture he heard at chapel was the same scripture he had used as rolling papers. This was a great line: “I was set free.” A powerful message which really pulled the story together.
02/07/07
So realistic and creative. The dialogue made the scene very vivid and the whole atmosphere seemed to come from a movie.
02/07/07
Creative entry. Thanks for the adventure giving us a glimpse into the county jail. This verse comes to my mind: "The law is our tutor to lead us to Christ." Good work!
Well devleoped characters and setting that delivered a meaningful story wonderfully told.
02/07/07
That last line in the first paragraph, wow! The dialogue here was outstanding. This piece will burn in my mind for some time to come.
Well written, believable story. Well done.
I could sense the desperation in this piece and the feeling of relief and peace at the end. Love the note stuck on the bible. "read don't burn"
02/08/07
Very good and very original! I loved the dialog and enjoyed the fresh look at the topic. Thanks for sharing it
02/08/07
Great illustration of God's grace. I love the characterization and how the MC's ignorance of the lingo enabled us to so readily learn enough of it for the story to be realistic.

I also like the term "spiritual arson". Good job.
02/08/07
Wow! Very compelling and well-written piece with an authentic feel! Terrific message, too! :)