The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/09/08
Wonderful job with the setting and characterization. The dialog all seemed so natural. Enjoyed this piece very much.
This excellent story has a warmth that drew me in.
05/14/08
The conversation seemed exactly right. The story was heart-touching. Nice job.
Hmmmm. Interesting. God was at the fishing hole, yet now the boy tells people about God in the church. Was God in both places - of course. This story makes me want to get to the bottom of it, something you'd talk about over dinner. Good job. Thanks
You brought so much to this story, I loved every word.
Especailly how you wrote about the constellation of splattered paint on his bare feet, I could see it!
05/14/08
Beautiful all the way through, and I really, really love your last line.
Hmmm, lots going on here! I liked the interaction between the two brothers, it was very real and especially the 15 minute thing that repeated all the way to the end. I suspect there is more to the story though, it feels like there's more. Good job! ^_^
You did such a good job with this. If you don't place high, I'll be very, very surprised! Kudos!
There is so much I enjoyed about this story...the twins interaction, the 15 min. theme, vivid descripions and the message. I guess I could say, I love it all!
Wonderful story with so much emotion and truth weaved together. Did I read this too quickly, or did the word 'reason' in the first sentence need an 's', and maybe an opening quotation mark was missing. Now that I've read it, the only thing I am sure of is the excellent message.
I love the voice and the homey feel of this piece. I'm glad both twins found Jesus, too. Excellent writing.