The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
11/24/06
I liked this one because I can relate. When I was young my parents would leave me at a pool all day with no food and I found myself rummaging among the lockers looking for money to buy bread. No matter the reason or the justification, it was stealing, but it took years for me to overcome that feeling that I was owed something just because it was there, and someone else had something I didn't. Becoming a Christian went a long way to changing that, but it was still hard.
11/26/06
I also can relate - BEFORE I met Jesus I had no "litle voice" whispering; AFTER I met Him...that little voice seemed to Shout! What a difference He makes in our lives. Nicely told story - and "Masterly" written.
11/27/06
Can I ever relate to this one too - both the stealing and the "voice." Such great detail and description. I was right there!
11/28/06
I never had a problem steeling, but I have heard His voice before in situations whre I needed to. Very creative take on the topic and expertly executed. Excellent job once again. God bless.
I love your artful use of descriptions, such as "mobile morality!" This piece is well-written. There were a couple missing apostrophes and 'steeling' should be 'stealing,' but other than those small things, you have an excellent command of the English language. Nice work. Blessings, Cheri
11/30/06
Thank you for sharing this. Thank God for the voice that whispers, and at times even shouts, when we do the wrong thing!
11/30/06
This was a really good read Yeggs! I can't relate of course ;) at any time in my life, but I sure enjoyed it! :)
11/30/06
Love your title! A little note: "Being very poor didn’t make things easy; so poor that we went without water and electricity for months because the bills couldn’t be paid" We're missing a complete sentence after the semi-colon. Fascinating to get under the skin of someone with stealing problems. I've met a couple in our youth pastor days. Thanks for the insight.
Don't you love the way the Holy Spirit stirs up words of Truth to spur us on to obedience?? This was a great testimony to the transforming work of God in the lives of His children. You wrote very believably as the MC still had a little bit of a struggle but surrendered to her Father in the end. Well written and prompts me to thank the Lord for never giving up on growing us up. Good job.
Bonnie
11/30/06
Very enjoyable read and a good comparison between the two "dads". Thanks for sharing this
11/30/06
The struggle that went on in the girl's mind was very believably written! We have all "been there" before, and I'm glad she surrendered her will to her new Father!
11/30/06
I love the contrast between the earthly father and the heavenly one. The drama at the end with the MC not being caught shoplifting was effective too. The title is perfect. WELL DONE.