The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/12/06
Wow! I love it! You kept me reading and looking for a revelation of who and what was really happening here! Great writing! Great dialogue! Masterfully written! :)
Yes, this IS masterfully written!
08/15/06
This definitely belongs in Masters! Brought the story to life with the fantastic dialogue and great characters!
08/15/06
I like the modernized dialog and slang for this story--it was very effective.
Hmmmmmm, quite the look... for the the topic "vision":

"Nevertheless, the look he gave me was direct, and deep. It felt like flame igniting the dry tinder of my soul."

Nice re-telling - effective to the last line!

08/16/06
VERY creative! I was searching for who this was really about too - definitely kept my interest! Excellently done (on a goofy sidenote, shouldn't it be deep doo-doo rather than do-do? LOL only a potty training mom would point THAT one out!)
08/16/06
Very well-written! I couldn't figure out who the story was about at all...so that means you re-wrote it well! (or that I don't know my Bible well enough!:( )
(I agree with the "doo-doo" comment. That's the way I always imagined it spelled. :)