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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Appointment (02/09/12)
I lie in my bed, eyelashes close over tired eyes, shades of blue and a speckle of green; an observation; not important, but full of character. The husband and friend sit out on car seats removed, stuck on metal frames, gracing the veranda in a manner unique. I snuggle in closer to my bed, cuddle it, the warmth lulls me to snooze.

Dreams overtake me, I am teaching a sweet potato the yodelling. Never taught one before, sounds come forth, I roll over and husband stumbles out of bed; stomps the floor. No more yodelling sweet potato. He mumbles, “Only two cats fighting.”
I doze; he tosses; 12 am. Clock ticks, I am immune to sound.

I startle, he is removed from bed, yanking the door open and growling at a figure in the shadows, stumbling towards a bed on the car seats. “Can’t stay here mate;” man’s drunk, says he’s homeless but we doubt him. Husband closes door and sinks onto bed while I stir from the embrace of bed and sleep.

We check, but he is not gone, fast asleep curled up against the other door. On hard concrete he sleeps in a stupor, probably better than us in our warmth and comfort.
What to do? Not safe to give him the same. What would Jesus do? I’m not Jesus.

Oh, we didn’t pray last night for protection of our home, that no wanderers would come by. Motorbike had been stolen, dumped in a murky flow of water a block from us, the river. Other issues had arisen. We always prayed since, but not this night.
Un-seasonally cold weather pricks at our soul, we pray for his.

Light dawns; with it our memory. We check; he is still there, a dark man, a child’s pillow, patterned with a character of cartoons, a purple quilt shrouds him as the sun creeps towards him. Warmth, but he does not stir. Time ticks by, this time I notice. Husband speaks to him about moving on, mumbled response.

What would Jesus do? No clear response. I’m not Jesus. I do my washing, breakfast, cleaning. The sun stands high in the sky. We call the police; 3 times, set a smoke alarm set off near his head, loud music, the cd plays through twice, the mowing out the front. No results. A lone beer bottle lays at the bottom of the stairs, perspective on his night.

Husband speaks to him again. He stirs at the mention of police, a glass of water please. We give it him, recognition stirs like water he sucks up to clear the mind. Situation is awkward like the last; he had stumbled into church, smoking, swearing, Communion taking place. Remember Christ; and a cup of water to our drunk friend. He staggers away, we pray for him. Our souls have met, they are troubled. He has not Christ, we do with such recognition the thought lingers. What would Jesus do?
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This article has been read 804 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/16/12
This is different. I wasn't sure at first if I liked the halting sentences and style but the more I read the more it grew on me. I think it helped set the tones of how thoughts flit in and out of our minds.. In the end I thought it was quite creative.
C D Swanson 
02/16/12
Interesting style and entry. I enjoyed this and the message that was brought forward. Different...I enjoyed it. Good job.
God Bless~
Noel Mitaxa 
02/16/12
I didn't immediately pick up the yodelling potato's relevance at first, but you drew me in with the jerky, sleep-deprived, almost-kaleidoscopic way that you led me through the story. The relevance of the sheep and goats parable also comes through very clearly, especially when you can't be sure it's actually Jesus on the receiving end of your help. What would Jesus do? Was Jesus actually disguised as the drunk - as the parable in indicates he might be?
Very well-written.
Kathleen Langridge
02/17/12
The style fit the subject and developed the story with clarity that held my attention. Well done.
Leola Ogle
02/18/12
Not my style, but I did enjoy this! I was drawn in! Good job! God bless!
Lizzy Ainsworth
02/18/12
I wasn't actually portraying that Jesus was the drunk on the front verandah, but what would he do if he had a drunk on his front verandah.
Terry Lee
02/19/12
I loved this! So groovy, like Alice in Wonderland, meets devotional, meets Edgar Allan Poe, with a brief visit from Beth Moore (oh, and Jesus too).

Being an offspring of genuine Hippies, I loved the psychelelic feel to this piece. It made me travel deep inside my own mind.