The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/21/11
You have some gorgeous pictures in your opening paragraphs. "Late afternoon light was inaudibly anointing the western edges of every tree and outbuilding…." Wow! [I could see it.] Then, I had to smile at this, "menfolk had grilled so competitively -- with extra ribs and corn provided verbally." LOL! You have a wonderful message… I especially like your mention of "grace" and your ending was "sweet."
Wow. This is a week for great lines. I'm a sucker for well written, clever, original written lines. I enjoyed this on many levels. You had my attention from the first to the last. Great job.
01/22/11
Lot of great descriptions in this piece. Loved the home-grown dialoge and the message of thankfulness.
I really enjoyed getting to know this family and learn how they depended on Jesus and one another to get through. Although your descriptions were lovely in the beginning, I felt the heart of the story started when you began to show me what the family was like. Maybe just one or two sentences in the beginning would have been enough to sat the scene. Overall you have great story-telling abilities.
01/24/11
I enjoyed your lovely descriptions and your portrait of a close-knit family. Good job!
I especially enjoyed the wonderful imagery and the puns in your family story.