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Topic: Oops (01/14/10)
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TITLE: A Clumsy Match Made In Heaven | Previous Challenge Entry
By Eileen Knowles
01/17/10 -
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Ida sighed. It was going to be one of those mornings. And, of course, Ida was right. In the span of about two minutes, she managed to bump her head on a kitchen cupboard and drop an open bag of coffee beans onto the floor. After cleaning up the mess, Ida sat sipping a well-deserved cup of coffee. She had so much to accomplish today, and now she must add a visit to the optometrist to her already long list.
Ida finished getting ready and grabbed a cup of coffee to take with her. She decided it would be best to make the eye doctor her first stop instead of the post office. There was a one-hour eyeglass place not too far from her house. Ida gathered up her packages and headed out to the car. Carefully, she placed her coffee mug on top of the car just long enough to put her packages in the backseat and then remembered to grab her mug. She wasn't about to make the same mistake she had made yesterday and drive half-way to work with the mug still on the roof. Ida had watched countless forgotten mugs go flying off her roof over the years. Not today, she had already had enough coffee-type fiascoes for one morning.
Ida pulled out of her driveway and turned on the car radio...At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over...
Memories of the previous weekend swept over her. It had been a special day in the Izakluts' family. Ida could still picture her sister Jackie's face six months earlier, when Ida opened her front door and saw her baby sister beaming with excitement. The announcement really didn't come as a surprise to Ida. Jackie and Tim seemed so happy together, so comfortable...and life is like a song, Oh yeah, at last...Ida had watched as Jackie and Tim embraced on the dance floor at the reception...for you are mine at last... She was so happy for her kid sister.
Although Ida had not yet stumbled upon Mr. Right, she had been on plenty of first dates. She cringed thinking about the last one. The trouble started after the movie when they decided to get a bite to eat at the Burger Barn. There was just no easy way to get the red sauce out of the almost empty Ketchup bottle except to bang on the side real hard. Unfortunately, her hand slipped and the bottle went flying. Ketchup flew everywhere and most of it came to rest on Bill's head. Trying to be helpful, Ida quickly grabbed some napkins and reached over to wipe the splatters from her date's forehead. Ida was so shocked when she pulled the sticky napkins back and a whole head of hair was attached. It just dangled there like Davy Crockett's coonskin cap!
Ida knew she just hadn't found her man yet. When her man came along, if he came along, she wouldn't have to try so hard. Her man would love her just the way she was.
Ida arrived at the optometrist's office and took a seat in the waiting room across from another customer.
The man smiled at Ida.
“I see you're having one of those days as well,” he said, looking at the cracked glasses resting on her lap. The man lifted up his own pair of glasses. “They slipped from my hands this morning. The good news is I did save my mug of coffee in the process.” The man lifted his coffee cup in the air, toasting his successful save.
Ida smiled, “I can totally relate.”
The man leaned over and stretched out his hand, “I'm Herman...Herman Butterfingers.”
Her Man ...Ida promptly stretched out her hand to meet his, “Herman, it's very nice to meet you.”
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I enjoyed the paragraph where you wove the song lyrics in with her thoughts and recollections. Nicely done!
Trim the adverbs and trust the dialog to convey the expression on the faces and in the voices of your characters.
Great storytelling.
Cute story.