The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Retreat (as in quiet time away) (08/01/05)
“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31


I had responded to the summons, and for forty eight hours absorbed the calm of a course of centering prayer. Now it was time to leave, disinclination held me fast. I gazed through my car window, observing the deserted parking lot. My colleagues had all left.

Beyond the parking lot, the early autumn afternoon continued to radiate an air of tranquility. Green lawn stretched toward a stand of trees still in summer foliage. The sun shone warm from a cloudless sky. The landscape existed empty of human form. The retreat center stood silent, with recent desertion.

My key waited in the ignition.

Though the retreat had come to an end, I was still cocooned in a serenity woven through the peace of the Benedictine Monastery. Reluctant to return to the everyday chaos of life in the city and home, my hands clutched the steering wheel, the way I wanted to cling to the weekend. Internally I willed myself to hold on to a stillness I had not known in years.

This must have been what Peter felt like when Jesus took him, James and John up a mountain by themselves. After witnessing Christ’s transfiguration, returning to the world must have seemed mundane. It is no wonder he wanted to stay and build dwelling places, to remain where he had experienced a revelation of God. Yet, the moment was only intended to catch a glimpse of glory and go back to share the vision with the rest of the community.

Taking a deep and steadying breath, I braced myself for the sound that would signal my turn of leave-taking. I rotated the key and the engine roared to life. A deep sigh of regret escaped my lips. For just one moment, I visualized what it would be like to be a nun and never have to leave this mountain top experience. Then I put the car into gear. The valley called for my return.



Note: Reference to Matthew 17:1-5
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1861 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
janet rubin
08/08/05
Wonderful! You communicated so well your feelings. Just as you hated to leave the retreat, I hated to see your article come to an end. Lovely use of language!
Dixie Phillips
08/09/05
Loved the submission in the last line....... "The valley called for my return!"
Marjorie Arrowood
08/09/05
This is great! Excellent points without belaboring them.
Beth Muehlhausen
08/09/05
I agree, a great punch at the end: "The valley called for my return."
Debra Brand 
08/10/05
Yes, I could feel the presence of that place! Well done.
Karen Ward
08/11/05
All feelings I can relate to from my own 'mountain top experiences'. Felt like I was right there with you, thanks for taking me on the journey...
Melanie Kerr 
08/11/05
I have been there - wanting to stay in a place where I have met with God and build a dwelling place - an excellent use of scripture.
Linda Watson Owen
08/11/05
Wonderful sensory imagery! I was in her shoes thanks to a talented writer!
Fenny West
08/12/05
Very well written, with powerful, and effective imagery and personification. Thanks.
Maxx .
08/12/05
Excellent. The power line: "Yet, the moment was only intended to catch a glimpse of glory and go back to share the vision with the rest of the community."

That explains we go on "retreat" and not a "relocation!"
dub W
08/12/05
Bravo. Great sensory detail and description. Thanks.
darlene hight
08/13/05
You captured the feeling of returning home. We've all been to the mountain top and never wanted to leave.
Sandra Petersen
08/13/05
I liked the line "The key waited in the ignition." because the insertion of this one little line emphasizes your hesitancy to leave. The last line about your return to the valley was excellent. Enjoyed this!!