The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1223 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/09/08
Well written, good grammar, and a good story. I like the flow and the child's letter. Nicely done.
10/10/08
That one really tugged at my heartstrings. Thank you for this work.
10/11/08
Sweet story!
10/13/08
I like the child's point-of-view to help the adult see the good in the season. Perspective can make the difference.

There were some punctuation errors that I would enourage you to check. I'm not sure if the semi-colon was appropriate in the first paragraph, and you had a run-on sentence later. A few minor changes and the story should read smoothly.

Good descriptions (the headache was relatable!)
10/15/08
And a little child shall lead them, right? Beautifully done.
You draw your reader into the scene with vivid descriptions and the little boy's voice is perfect. Great job with topic.
10/15/08
I like your characterizations and the story is well done....though it did feel like two different stories. I wish you had more words to write in detail. :) Nice work.
10/15/08
I loved the sentiments expressed by the child. I too shall look forward to singing with the angels one day.
10/15/08
Ahhh.... so sad and beautiful. Isn't it often that way, that children can bring beauty out of something painful? Thank you for writing this.
10/15/08
Wait a minute . . . What's the deal? I didn't see a tissue alert posted anywhere. LOL

This is a wonderful story, very touching. The surrender by the mother to sing her son to sleep with a carol got to me. Great writing.
I'm glad your sad, sweet story continued on a happier note.
This is a real tear jerker. I agree that it could have been two separate stories, but I think the transition between the church and the home was done well. It all fit together nicely.

I especially loved how you ended with the song "O Holy Night." It is my absolute favorite Christmas carol.

So good to see you back in the challenge, Lynne. I really missed your entries. :)
10/16/08
Beautiful... absolutely beautiful. I loved how you brought the child's perspective in... and I LOVE you ending it w/ O Holy Night, as it's my favorite Christmas Carol. Well done.
Beautiful job, Lynne. You put so much feeling into everything you create. Great! :)