The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Charade (08/14/08)
If We Knew…

If you had told us who you were
If you had taken a minute to explain
At the beginning, when we reached out
Before the heartache and the pain

Had we known, had we understood
Had we foresaw to the end
Saw beyond time
To correct before we had to mend

But you needed us
Basic requirements you missed
A roof, a bed, heat
Without asking, we would insist

Jesus commanded, we obeyed
Jesus said love, we did freely
We opened our home
You had little, we gave eagerly

A new member of the family
A new part of our life
But something was amiss
Something in you was rife

For a time, we knew but prayed,
Freedom was recent to you
We hoped you sought renewal
Desiring to know what is true

You claimed that you already did,
You already knew Jesus well
This kept you from the truth
Kept you under the enemies’ spell

You began to break the rules
Your fruit became bruised and rotten
The Master’s influence ignored
His desires forgotten

Convinced you were still right
Continuing as though nothing was wrong
Tearing many down by your actions
Going on with your false worship song

We experienced a new place
We hurt, but hoped for the best
“Jesus, give us wisdom,
“Teach us to love through this test.”

When it was done, you had to leave,
We wished you well with a hug
A desire to stay close, we yearned for
“Please remember that we love.”

But you went and said things untrue
Bragged to others how bad we were
Forgetting, how much we gave
During the time that you were here.

To this instant, we feel pain
To this moment, we still wonder why
Understanding is not our call
And God will heal all in time

If you had told me who you were
If you had only explained
At the beginning, when we reached out…
The door would have opened anyway

God has not told us to choose
God has not said love only a few
He told us to help those who need it
Jesus said to give and to love…You
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 950 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
08/22/08
Very sad, and applicable to man family situations--I'm glad you left the specifics of the family problems vague.

However, I'm not sure how "charade" applies...is it that the subject of the poem hid something important from the family? And the meter was a little bit inconsistent throughout.

It's very obvious that you poured your heart into this poem!
Sunny Loomis 
08/25/08
Good job. Very heartfelt family situation. The rhyming fell apart once in awhile. i don't quite see charade, unless it's the child "knowing" Jesus. Overall, nicely done.
Clyde Blakely
08/25/08
I like this poem, deep with emotions. I think that maybe the emotions have overpowered the challenge prompt "charade". Rereading is clear - first stanza, then repeated later "If you had told me who you were
If you had only explained". Good job. God bless and keep writing.