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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)
“Mommy… my toy boak.” Tears streamed down her toddler face.

“Bring it here. Let me see if we can repair it.” She picked up the pieces and carefully put them back together. Some children’s toys are made that way today. They just snap back together. If only all problems could be fixed that easily.

**********

“Momma… my heart is broke.” Tears streamed down her teenage face.

“Come sit with me. Let me see if we can repair it.” They sat in silence for what seemed like days. It was really just a few moments in time. The mother listened compassionately as the daughter spoke about the past few weeks. The boy she had given her heart to had stomped on it and broke it into a million pieces. The mother knew it would snap back together but it would take time. She knew that only time could rebuild the trust in love that had been shattered by one immature boy.

**********

“Mom… my dreams are broke.” Tears streamed down her married face.

“Talk to me. Let’s see if we can repair them.” She listened as her daughter gave her the news that not only could she and her beloved husband not have children but she had a potentially life-threatening illness. Together they spoke about the options. The options for a life with or without children. The options for saving her life. Oh, how this mother wanted to put the pieces back together for her precious daughter and son-in-law. This time she knew that only One would ever be able to do that.

**********

“Mommy… Momma… Mom… I’m broken.” Tears streamed down her grieving face.

This time the mother could not respond or repair the situation. Her time had come and she was gone. The daughter drew on the gift of strength that her mother had provided to her through the years. She knew what she had to do. She had to pick up the pieces momma had left behind and move on. She had to pass ‘the strength to get through’ on to the next generation. Her adopted daughter had toys to be fixed, hearts to be mended and dreams to live out.
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This article has been read 1111 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Debbie Wistrom
05/01/08
Loved your style here.

Aren't Moms great like that.

You said a lot in very few words, Keep it up.
Joy Faire Stewart
05/02/08
Excellent showing the mother's love and the strength given to her daughter.
LauraLee Shaw
05/02/08
It's very poetic the way you started with each line and had tears flowing for different reasons. I really liked that. Your conclusion of drawing on the same strength, though the MC's mother was gone physically, was very touching.
Allan Morelos
05/03/08
What a style and how touching your story is! Thanks for sharing!
Sheri Gordon
05/06/08
I really like the repetition at each stage of life--and I love the mother's response. I especially like the part where the mom acknowledges that she can't fix all the problems--only God can do that. Very nice format, and good job with the topic.
Holly Westefeld
05/06/08
You have very effectively shown how a positive approach to facing struggles can run full circle from one generation to the next.
I think that "broken" might have been a better choice than "broke" in some places.
Willena Flewelling
05/06/08
I agree that "broken" would be better than "broke" in several places. But otherwise it's really good. Seasons... snapshots... scenery changes and the adjustments that come with them...
Jan Ackerson
05/06/08
I enjoy the parallel structure here, and the mother's tender spirit.
Joanne Sher 
05/06/08
Ohh, I like this. The form of it is just right, and the parallelism works quite well. I enjoyed this very much.
Joshua Janoski
05/07/08
I really liked the format of this piece. You did a great job describing the role that mothers play in helping their kids mend the hurts of life. Even when they can't fix things, they sure try their best to be there to listen and comfort.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.
Myrna Noyes
05/07/08
Very nice piece, and very true of many wonderful moms! You did a good job with the "broken" theme, and the ending was so touching! Thank you for sharing this!