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TITLE: Beyond The Realm of Wish | Previous Challenge Entry
By Henry Clemmons
04/23/08
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Once upon a time, that God chose to remind me of this week, I had a birth mother who had, let’s say, life challenges in the emotional domain. She did, however, have an angel for a sister that God used to save my life. This is her poem, from me.

In the day where days were dazed and bemused,
I wished a wish, but it remained a wish.
Abused, confused, accused and ‘slightly’ used,
I wished a wish, but it remained a wish.

Bemused and dazed my days seemed one long day.
My wish I wished remained a wish, until.
As prey, I prayed a prayer for you to stay.
My wish I wished remained a wish, until.

One day, my days came clear and lost their daze.
The wish I wished outgrew the realm of wish.
I prayed a prayer, I was no longer prey.
The wish I wished outgrew the realm of wish.

Your love was love I needed to be love.
I loved your love; I thank our God of love.

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Member Comments

Member

Date

Rebecca O'Connor

04/24/08

Your title is absolutely perfect for this poem. Jiminy Cricket wished upon a star, but prayer to the Father reaches an ear and finds its result. Very nicely done.

04/24/08

What I LOVE about this is that on the surface it's simple, short, almost childlike, but on a closer look it's rich in poetic sophistication: alliteration, assonance, repetition. And it's a SONNET, to boot, my favorite poetic form, with those last two lines an awesome kicker. Super!

Sara Harricharan

04/25/08

Very nice! I liked how your title fit this piece. ^_^

Willena Flewelling

04/30/08

This may be short, but it makes me think! Well thought out, and well written.

04/30/08

Love your poem. Great job.
Great title, too:)
Laury

04/30/08

Masterful writing... not easy to do... loved the title also..

04/30/08

Your poem has heart, beauty, and simplicity. Very lovely to read and then think about.

Joy Faire Stewart

04/30/08

Rarely does an entry bring me to tears but, this one did. Beautiful!

04/30/08

Your title is so appropriate for your heartfelt words. What talent you have to convey your feelings in so few words. Thank you for submitting this tribute.

04/30/08

Very, VERY nicely done. A rich piece.

Loren T. Lowery

04/30/08

This cries out from the very soul of the writer. Beautiful, poetic, inspired by a triumphant life.

04/30/08

It is poetry like this that reminds me how far I have to go as a writer. This is beautiful and sad, and your use of "pray" and "wish" drew me right in.

Keep up the great writing.

04/30/08

Beautiful. You said so much in so few words. I savored every line of this. Thank you so much for sharing.

Catrina Bradley

05/01/08

I have to confess, I forgot that I need to read poetry slower than fiction, and tho I thought your title was beautiful, I didn't like the poem much the first time through. Since I'm not well versed in poetry, I read what others had to say before I commented. I glad I did! I read again, out loud and slowly, digesting your words, and they came alive. The depth is stunningly deceptive. This is going in my favorites. :D