The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/29/08
I love the honesty of this, and the PERFECT title - as well as how wonderfully this piece exemplifies that title. That last line is just right!
02/29/08
Lovely title and sentiment.

There's perhaps a bit of tweaking to be done on meter and tense, and on more complex rhymes.

I love the message, and the grace evidenced in the last stanza.
03/01/08
Your thoughts are so uplifting in this creative entry. Your opening sentence is perfect,”A son of age met his father of old.” I’m sure you’ve described the setting well -- meeting someone who was responsible for your existence, all the questions and catching up on years of life apart. Only God can remove the bitterness making what you describe possible. Your ending is beautiful (wonderful concept -- introducing your dad to your Dad). Great work!
The sentiment in this poem is perfect. Two lines stand out to me:
Needing to find yourself, we found you gone.
and
He took in a family where you found none.
Those really get to the heart of your narrative.
I loved this sad tale. Many great thoughts, so well done. Keep writing.
03/03/08
Just needs a little tweaking but overall good, keep writing.
03/04/08
George, I love the FEEL of this ... the truth of emotion behind the words. I truly loved this ... it touches the reader.
03/04/08
Great last line. Yes, a few touches here and there to make it read more smoothly. Nonetheless, nicely done.
Thought provoking.
A case where the son is much wiser than the (earthly) dad. I enjoyed reading this. Well done.
Hmmm, a very different twist here! I liked how the title tied in with the ending line. Very good. ^_^