The Official Writing Challenge
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11/09/07
Good job!! Liked the voice - good ending:)
11/10/07
Very well written. I like the honesty and wry sense of humour, but I can hear the mother's heartbreak underneath it, too. It's soooooo true: the bottom line is that we all need Jesus - no matter how "religious" that sounds.
Every situation is unique, of course, but I wonder if it's wiser to approach her son with a different opener - one he'd relate to much more. He may still be a bit defiant / defensive from the previous comments too.
11/11/07
Well written story and perfect voice for the worried mother. Succinct is definitely the right description of teens at this age, too. I enjoyed this entry very much.
11/11/07
A great insight into the cultural and social worldview of the modern teen. I loved the honesty of the mother and the way you used her diary to remind the reader that none of us is beyond reproach.
I was a little disappointed with the ending in that the boy wasn’t given an opportunity to respond. After all, he could simply have shrugged his shoulders and said, “Dunno.” Perhaps you could have placed ‘It was a beginning’ after his tentative response, so as to give the conclusion more of a punch.