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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write an INSPIRATIONAL or DEVOTIONAL piece (04/26/07)
The mother sat in her chair, sipping the remainder of her lukewarm coffee. It was still and quiet in the house, yet a feeling of anticipation stirred within her. Her afternoon solitude would soon give way to the after school demands of children’s homework, music practise, necessary conversations and dinner preparations.

She sighed, returning once again to the photographs in her lap. She studied the photos closely, unconsciously raising a finger to touch her daughter’s face. Her little girl looked so young and vulnerable, her baby teeth missing in front when this picture was taken last summer. All three of the children were growing up fast.

“In the beginning God created...”

She remembered the day clearly when she was convicted about her need to be intentional and share her faith openly with her children. She had been reading in Deuteronomy when she felt the soft nudging in her heart regarding the words she should speak to them. “...Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road...”. There was an awkwardness about it at first, an unfamiliarity in speaking heart thoughts aloud, but she knew she must be obedient to the spirits leading and be intentional with her words.

“Now the earth was formless and empty...and God said, “Let there be light.””

The first time she said something to them they had been driving in the car, and her attention was drawn to the breathtaking sky. With heart beating in her throat, she drew in a breath and said, “Isn’t God an amazing artist? Look at all the colours he uses. It is so beautiful”. Their little voices chimed in with appreciation of God’s pretty sky, and she smiled when she realized this praise lay just beneath the surface. As she stepped out of her comfort zone and spoke truth into their little hearts, they willingly followed. She simply set the tone.

“So God created man in his own image...and God saw...”

The mother returned once again to her photograph album, realizing that several years had passed since then. Speaking of faith came easier now. Their conversations about God were more mature and often included challenging questions. Her daughter still thought of God as an artist, and perhaps inspired by God’s incredible creativity, spoke passionately of her plans to be an artist-missionary when she grew up.

As she climbed into her car, the mother paused for a moment to look at the winter sky and the distant mountains. She breathed a prayer of thanks to God for the beauty that she received from him every day of her life. She thanked him for the simple faith of her children that had strengthened her own walk with God.

The sun sparkled on the winter landscape, and she imagined the warmth of God’s smile upon her face. “Pretty day”, she said, and pulled out of the driveway to pick up the children from school.

“And God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”
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This article has been read 1246 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
David (The Goliath Assassin)
12/15/07
The third line has a typo. "Practise" should be "Practice." One of those silly errors... but overall, this was very good! I liked how you used biblical passages throughout, mimicking Genesis in the family you wrote about. My only content suggestion would be to give the mother a name. It'll draw in the reader exponantially, and make this family seem less hypothetical.

You left me a comment saying that you were excited to have discovered me. Well, I assure you that the feeling is mutual. You have talent, LA Evans. And to use that talent for the glory of God is a beautiful thing. I guess that's why we are all gathered here. God is good, isn't he?
Catrina Bradley
01/26/08
I loved your other story so much, I had to read more. :) This one is fabulous, very inspiring and convicting. I love the creation scripture tying into the narrative, and the mother's stepping out of her comfort zone to be obedient to the Lord. I'm surprised you didn't get more comments. Please join the message boards - come to the "Writing Challenge" thread to learn about hinting and bricking. You'll get tons more feedback on your entries.

I'm keeping my eye on you, Lesley-Ann. I predict you'll keep moving up with these writing skills.

(I'm guessing you're English because of the spelling of "practise"?) :) Cat