The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1752 times
Member Comments
Good, vivid descriptions. I was a little confused by the father who died and where this was set -- a real place or heaven or somewhere in between? Good job!
God bless
Some rich fare in here, but I must confess to finding the total of it somewhat indigestible. Somehow I had trouble following the unfolding story. It's probably just me - murkily, I grasped there is probably something great here.
The essence of this piece is inspiring and delicately beautiful.

The format weaves the different 'aha' times together well.

There are just too many deep words to follow and absorb. That's all.
I read this three times, and gleaned new meanings from it every time. That's the great thing about your writing; even when it's difficult, it's a pleasure to read. (Did you mean "divine?") I especially liked the flying with father/Father bit.
You do possess a fabulous vocabulary and writing skills, however, I felt your word choices detracted from the piece making it difficult for the reader to "get into it." I felt like I was reading an article with vocabulary words on steroids! LOL I struggled to continue reading and I didn't feel it flowed smoothly. I kept trying to stay with it as my mind desperately tried to retain what I read from the previous sentence. (Maybe it's me. I can be a confused, crazy broad sometimes! LOL). Sometimes, less is more. However, a very poetic flair is evident! I can't nitpick your vocabulary. You do know your Webster's dictionary - that's for sure. Blessings, Jo
This reads like a divine dream. It is a piece that should not be read quickly, but like poetry - savoring the beauty and meaning of each line. Only then was I able to join you in this exquisite journey home.
I seem to remember someone teasting me and asking if I was trying to find the most unusual words I could... ;-)

All teasing aside, though, this is beautiful and certianly does need to be read slowly to be savored. I also feel I missed some of it, and was at a loss to discover the location, but did glean much. It is rich in peace.
A prose poem, you write with the skill and natural poetic flow of the old masters.
I read, and then had to slow down and reread, savoring the message woven throughout. Masterpiece.
It's beautiful, lyrical - but I don't get it. Sorry. I'm lost as to the setting and who the character is.
When I read this I see an encounter with the God of all creation, who loves his people more than all the magnificence of nature. I think it is beautiful.

Genuflecting? :-) I had to look it up! But there's nothing wrong with expanding my vocab either.

Thanks. This blessed me.
I really enjoyed this. When I read your stuff it makes me slow down and think. I love your short, clipped sentences that pack such a powerful message in each.
Maxx I don't care how pumped up your vocab is I love your work.

Dub's right; it feels like poetry in prose! I return over and over to drink the richness of the experience, to feel God's presence in every captivating detail. Your spirit responds to the clear revelation of His love through the creation, and the overflow of word-colors on your canvas is, perhaps, simply a way of expressing sheer awe.
I'm back! Sorry it's been so long.

Where to begin. Well, first I'd like to say that you write like a legend. Your talent surpasses anything I've read on this site and I believe that if you get the chance to break out into the publishing world you go go down into history as one of the greatest writers of all time.

Now, let's see if I can "get" this piece. It holds a lot. First, I loved how you pointed to Creation as an everyday symbol of redemption, love and sacrifice. I lost count how many referances you used that dealt with some aspect of Creation. Beautiful. Also, you used the description of different aspects of Creation to decribe how life works. The innocence and beauty of a new life, the turmoil and pain one experiacnes as he makes his way through the world and then the redemption he experaicnes through Christ. Perfectly on topic. This was defiantely a work of art and I loved how my brain hurt after reading it a few times. Congrats Master!