The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1287 times
Member Comments
Wow. This had some great moments. There were a few spots that tripped me up, but overall very well done!
'The one, longing to reach out; the other, longing to be held.' So true. What wisdom a parent needs to weather those difficult years. Realistically told. Loved this line: 'her perfume mingled with the scent of defiance.'

What a gripping read. I was 'there" the entire time. Great job was telling this one. I was soooooooo thankful that it didn't end with the girl apologizing or saying "I want God" or something cliche like that. You really had a true to life story. Very well told. I was confused in a few parts (wording seemed a little weak in a few lines), but I understand after a second read. But be encouraged. This is a great story.
Heart rending story. Reminds us that God is with us, participating in our lives if we are open to listen to Him. There is great value in leaving the story open ended like this. Leaves room for the reader to meditate on the meaning, think on solutions, "what would I do." Rather than giving us the ending and having a 'happy ending' ( me , who always loves happy endings!) Left this way offers hope that things can be worked out! Great job!
A well told story with a very good ending. Good job.
Oh! What a gem this one is!! Great true to life...beautifully told by a great writer! I tried to talk myself into going to bed instead of reading 'just one more', but you had me with the first two sentences, Pat! Super story!!
You revealed the feelings of this father and daughter (and multitudes of fathers and daughters) beautifully. Great job.
I loved this line: "his heart speeding beyond the limits allowed". And the title was clever, especially the way it linked in with the story.

You brought us into the father's world very beautifully. Great job!
Enjoyed this from beginning to conclusion. Hope revealed.
Heart-pounding, fast-paced read! Why do I feel like crying? It's just such a perfect picture of our Heavenly Father's unconditional love. It encourages me as a parent to fight for my children. Great, great work!
The last half of your story is a block buster. You lost me at "he thought his daughter could help". Even when I reread it a couple of times, I didn't understand. But the overall story was compelling to read and the ending was realistic and uplifting. The teen years are indeed difficult and our only hope is in God for protection and guidance. Many need to read this. A great entry.
Lock control! You're so clever!!


Enjoyed the transparent emotions and depth of feeling all the way through this.