The Official Writing Challenge
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What a powerful story. Such a clear messege of how we need to starve our own sinful beasts that we allow to reign in our lives. This was great. Sounds oddly like...
Awesome. I can so relate- and starvation is indeed the only way. The best line- "it always wanted more." Very good stuff.
I can imagine what you are describing here (and very well described!) but I felt like I needed just a little hint at the end as to whether I had guessed correctly or not. Very well done.
If you do decide to make the analogy more explicit - please don't overdo it. I think the message is there fairly clearly..with a little thought. Over-egged moralising would really spoil this great piece.
Heoen is correct--proceed with caution! Too much would destroy the flow of your work.
Did catch one probelm with tense. You had a current tense verb in an area it didn't feel quite right.
Great piece...very unusual take on a common problem.
I think this could apply to many vices we seek to control and rid ourselves of, but I immediately thought of a recovering alcoholic and how the beast wants so badly to be fed again. I thought the last paragraph was not needed, but that's just my opinion. Great writing!