The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1011 times
Member Comments
The message behind "the space between your teeth" ,"...the gunk can lead to pain...",is loud and clear.
Your starting with a question was briliant...the message becomes personal.
Hmmm, I liked this. Good analogy. I think it wouldn't have hurt to make it a little more obvious what the deeper meaning was so any reader could "get it."
Very nice analogy and made me want to go brush my teeth lol
ok ... I'm grossed out ... I gotta go rinse and spit! I kept hearing dental drills as I read! lol! But the message was right on. Ya done good!
You certainly got to the 'root' of the problem alright! :) I'm heading to the bathroom to floss again! At the end I thought you might compare the gunk to the sin in our lives, turning this into a devotional. It's valid as it stands though.
Brenda, I always love your work and this is no exception! Wonderful writing with a power punch to the heart. And a little grossness woven in too - just my kind of entry! LOL
Gross! But great! Loved the analogy and the way it was written. Unlike Lynda - gross is not my cup of tea - but good writing is. You made gross a good read. (did I mention this was gross? :) )(did I mention you made gross readable?)(that's pretty good!)
Very good... have to go brush my teeth now... where did i put that floss..?