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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Start (01/16/06)
Start
Revise the notion with humblest suggestion
A lackluster attempt of no consequence
Then
Change the wild rose to the new dawn
A petal of hope slips to the surface
rippling the water
A stack held high falls wordlessly
Till nothing is left but dust and light
Farther still toward what lies beyond the day
Evening has been announced with
Reluctance
Stains appear to disappear
Lines are drawn to be erased
Circumstance dances with inevitability
Faced with a turn, their energies
Stop
Furtively spiraling past moonlit corridors
Gasping in darkness to immersions of tidings
Lines cannot be bruised by salacious meanderings
Or petulant thoughts break through this covering
Instead
Forge through the way of resistance
Downcast though the soul may become
Past the turmoil and fey-spawned assistance
Lie the hope and dream special of home
Become
An anchor of discipline, soundly attentive
A deposit of fruitfulness, fated for bounty
The reservoir deep of insatiable glory
The carrion call of worldly rewards
His
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
01/26/06
This is extremely abstract and deep, like a series of many word-pictures...I think the key lines are the last 3. This won't be everyone's cup of tea, but you choose words well. You might want to work on making your poetry more accessible, but my all means, keep it up!