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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)
Willy stood in the yard watching the sun rise. The sky was clear and bright and the birds were singing on this, his final day. The warmth of the sun couldn’t stop the chill of fear coursing through his body. He waited in silence, dreading the moment that he would have to bid farewell to his wife. He couldn’t bear to see his fear reflected in her own dark eyes.

He stood frozen to the ground, wishing he could go to her. He longed to hold her and comfort her, but he couldn’t move. She was just beyond his reach, and yet she might as well have been a world away. Maybe, had she actually been in another world, she could have been saved from this terrible fate. In another world, they would have been spared the agony of watching their precious son succumb to the heat and waste away to nothing. They’d been helpless to prevent his death, only two days before, and they would be helpless to prevent their own on this day.

The sun continued to climb into the sky. Willy held his head high, determined to put on a brave face before his wife. He could see her beginning to sag as the weight of their pain and the fear of their doom pressed down on her. Her lips were drawn tightly together as if she was refusing to cry out. Time had stolen her youthful glow, but Willy was still drawn to her beauty. Her heart had always remained as pure as snow, despite the difficulties they’d weathered.

Storms had come and gone, binding them together with a love that death could not steal from them. Day after day, they had stood by each other, grateful for each moment they had together.

The end was near. Willy could feel it. He tried to be strong for her sake, so she wouldn’t have to watch him die, but his strength was draining away faster by the moment. He stole one last glance at his beloved before his head rolled off his shoulders and landed on the ground with a thud.
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This article has been read 1786 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
12/05/05
Oh, this made me laugh so much! Beautiful!!!!
Jan Ackerson
12/05/05
I should have added...I rarely read titles, so I had to come to the conclusion that Willie was a snowman as I read your piece. If you use this elsewhere, please consider changing the title. That gradual realization was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.
Amy Michelle Wiley 
12/05/05
I agree with the title change suggestion. Since I knew the title, I found the story hilarious, but I think it would have had a different kind of impact if I didn't realize right away what was going on... ;-) I think a not-too-in-your-face comment about it all being part of God's plan would have been kinda neat, too... But what a great story, hehehehe....
Gini Branch
12/06/05
Guess I'm an incurable romantic, but this was very touching. Good crafting. Well written.
terri tiffany
12/06/05
This was so funny!! Loved the last line!!
Kyle Chezum
12/06/05
Ha ha, woot woot! Death to snowmen! Naw, actually, I loved the story. Very clever. :-)
Linda Watson Owen
12/07/05
A great 'irreverant' take on the tragedy of Willie Loman in 'Death of a Salesman'! I'm still grinning from ear to ear! What a treat!
Ann Stocking
12/07/05
I thought of "Death of a Salesman" immediately, too, so the title is essential to your take. But even knowing the inevitable end, I had to read to the last word, just to see how you were going to do it!
Marilyn Schnepp 
12/08/05
I agree. Your title gave away the surprise ending. Very well written, and a delight to read. And very creative, I might add. Well done.
Julianne Jones
12/08/05
Although never having seen what happens to a snowman when spring arrives, I could picture this so well. Funny and well done. And so creative. God Bless.
Phyllis Inniss 
12/08/05
Very creative and humorous. I enjoyed this entry very much.
Donnah Cole
12/08/05
Very creative! Thoroughly enjoyed!
Kevin Kindrick
12/08/05

Wow, this was great. Fun to read, even if the title did ruin the surprise. The end was great, I needed the lift.

Thanks, and God bless,

Kevin
Denise Stanford
12/09/05
I think the fact that this was a snowman would have made a great punchline, either way skillfully controlled with great choice of phrases. Certainly something different for Spring!
Pat Guy
12/09/05
Creative and clever! 'Pure as snow'? :) I, too, would have liked a different title if only to get the impact of the head rolling off with a thud! :) What a fun read!
Cassie Memmer
12/11/05
I absolutely loved this! Really enjoyed the head falling off with a thud. LOL! Encore! Encore!
Beth Muehlhausen
12/11/05
Very good (clap clap clap)! I have to admit that I clicked on this story initially and then was interrupted - and when I came back I'd forgotten the title and actually skipped it and went right into the copy. So I did appreciate the discovery process - and the shock factor!!! FUN!
LINDA GERMAIN 
12/12/05
Oh my! Somehow the title sailed right past me and when I got to the last line I said, "Huh?"
Then when I read Jan's comment about it being funny, I said, "Hey...wait a second. I must have missed something. That's not funny."

ROFL (now). I get it. Death of a salesman? WooHoo, so clever. (I shouldn't be reading when it is time to sleep). :0)