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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Chillax (04/03/14)
I wanted the barbeque chicken so much I could taste it. Exercising extraordinary will power, I opted to stay where I sat. Instead, I watched others partake of the feast set on the table. The Cornish hens wasn't the only tasty item on the menu. The veritable potpourri of sumptuous delights included—steak, sausages, grilled tuna, and the crowd favorite, hot dogs, which completed the table of plenty. Of course, the usual array of side dishes which had accompanied the entrees at every meal tantalized my taste buds. My buds were dancing for a meal, but I was determined to wait.

Others were urging me to grab something now, but I insisted on holding off a little while longer. It must be the right moment to indulge. Now, simply wasn't the time.

My friends were getting antsy and overtly annoyed at my stubborn stand...but they obliged and respected my decision. They were sweating in the sun, I could see them huffing and puffing. I, on the other hand, the polar opposite of my sweating companions, enjoyed sitting in the shade, cool calm and relaxed.

I had enough food the night before to hold off. In fact, I'd overindulged to the point of gluttony. My disciplined behavior was actually the extension of "pigging out" the night before, nothing more, nothing less.

My friends had just about given up on me. They often looked up to me and wondered why I'd be the one to chilax at these functions. I was a seasoned pro and this wasn't my first picnic so to speak.

It was almost time for action. I gave the okay to my friends and watched them run in accordance to my signal.

I arrived last—as usual— and jumped atop the garbage can, while my friends circled below. We pushed a couple of times before the contents spilled out on the ground. And, it was then we began our consumption of sheer ambrosia. There was so much leftover chicken, hot dogs, and sausages. Oh, and the potato salad was creamier than I'd remembered.

We were able to finish the entire pile of discarded items before the park ranger's truck drove up. We scattered for the woods and took refuge beside a rock. Sitting amongst the trees under the starry night, my friends wanted to know my secret in the timing, and why I never got nervous. My response was simple and straight from my raccoon heart. “God He always provides for all of His creatures. So why worry?”

I fell asleep under a big oak tree and knew I'd be fine until the next family picnic tomorrow afternoon...



Who giveth food to all flesh: for his mercy endureth for ever. (Psalm 136:25 KJV)
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This article has been read 1129 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
lynn gipson 
04/10/14
Oh CD, I absolutely LOVED this. I was half way through it when I thought the MC might an ant, then I was surprised at the ending! This is original and unique and I think this one takes the prize! The message was lovely and loud and clear. Thanks for a most delightful read!
Mar
04/11/14
Such a great story! So creative, super idea, i began thinking, "hey thats what I do at picnics, I'm not the only one, eat before so I don't pig out".... Lolol... what a surprise I got!
Toni Hammer
04/12/14
Engaging and entertaining with a great ending. Wonderful work.
Dannie Hawley 
04/15/14
A totally delightful piece of writing here! At first, I pictured myself at the various picnics of my childhood. While I tried hard not to let Mom's eye find mine, somehow that "look" always said i had to wait. Then, when it was obvious that your MC was an animal, being from Montana, I knew it had to be a bear cub. So, you hooked me and kept me guessing on the MC so much that I really didn't see your ending coming. Super job all the way through to the terrific ending!
lynn gipson 
04/17/14
Congratulations on your EC! I was bitterly disappointed this one didn't rank first place. It was better than some others that did. I adored this story.

But that EC showed 'em!

Blessings, Lynn
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
04/17/14
Oh you are on fire! You got me good. I never saw the ending coming. I love at great twist and even though you left some beautiful subtle clues, I still didn't expect it. I think being 'had' by a twist is one of my favorite reading experiences because it doesn't happen often. The only "red ink" I have is tiny. The line Cornish hens wasn't the only tasty item threw me. Technically it's correct because it's one item, but since you started off with the plural hens I stopped several times thinking it should be weren't. Most people aren't as anal as I am. If you had done hen or items and switched the verb, I wouldn't have stuttered at all. Like I said though, it is tiny and most people wouldn't care. I love how you brought the topic into the story so perfectly. I can just see my cats acting the same way--kind of a prissy cattitude. Brilliant writing my friend! Congratulations and even though I've been sick I'm doing a huge Happy Dance for you!!
Wilma Schlegel
04/17/14
This was wonderful! I was there (in your writing) and I tasted everything! Truly tantalizing and mischievous! Congratulations on your E.C.
Tracy Nunes 
04/17/14
Oh, that was fun! You held onto that secret for quite a while and then did a lovely job unfolding his/her true identity. The image of a fully stretched belly is stuck in my mind. Love it!
Gracie Sparks
04/18/14
What a delightful read! I can tell you are a very accomplished author.
Sheldon Bass 
04/19/14
I have a real soft spot for animal stories. I love your take on the topic. You did a good job of capturing the reader and holing interest. We had a raccoon in our yard and found out she had babies in the neighbors attic. We made sure Mama coon had plenty to eat.

Good job, keep the good stuff coming.
Mar
04/19/14
Congrats on EC camille! I thought for sure this would place, so was so happy you got EC!
Gary Ritter 
04/21/14
This was a fun piece. You had me wondering why until I got near the end. Isn't it great that the anthropomorphic hand of God feeds His critters who wisely know that and anthropomorphically write stories about His goodness?