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TITLE: The Full Stop at the End of the Day | Previous Challenge Entry
By Melanie Kerr
01/08/14
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the day slips into evening as
the sun drags drawn-out shadows across the field
where dogs skitter and hurtle after tossed balls
and saunter by wire fences
noses savouring the aroma of
empty bottles and wet leaves

above the tree line
a cloud of chattering starlings sculpt
Intricate shifting shapes
lifting and twisting, turning and falling
in practised choreography
black dancers against an evening sky

the glint of eager stars
echoes of light race across the expanse
a rash of distant pinpricks
compete with streetlamps that
shed bright pools of yellow light
in ordered, even spaces along the pavement

homes settle down to sleep
the flicker of TV screens and
eye-bright windows wink out
conversations gently wind down as
wood and concrete sigh and whisper
their night time lullaby

grey head bent beneath the glow of a reading lamp
an open bible in her hand
she saunters through its pages and chases down promises
among a cloud of unseen angels she dances before God’s throne
and listens as He sings to her across the expanse
her full stop at the end of the day

Psalm 42:8

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Member Comments

Member

Date

Verna Cole Mitchell

01/09/14

This is so very beautiful with the last three lines as "Hallelujah."

01/09/14

Was not expecting the beauty of that last stanza. Wow!

Margaret Kearley

01/10/14

This is beautiful - your amazing descriptions paint an exquisite and vivid picture of the end of a day.
But your last verse! - its a real treasure, both challenging and thrilling - an expansion of the wonderful text you quote. Thankyou.

01/10/14

This is a lovely poem with vivid descriptions of the things of day's end, leading up to the last stanza of the woman's time with God and his word. Very well done!

01/10/14

I’d love to have your input into the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons.

01/11/14

Exquisite! The above comments have said it all. A truly beautiful poem.

01/11/14

Beautiful and peaceful!

God bless~

Virginia Lee Bliss

01/12/14

Excellent use of enjambment and alliteration.

Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark

01/12/14

So satisfying! This is beautiful . . .

01/12/14

I love how this builds... and then we get to the satisfaction of Him at the end--at the "full stop." What a powerful ending.

01/12/14

A most beautiful free verse poem that took me to a most satisfying end of the day. Very well done.

01/13/14

A beautiful picture of the day coming to an end. A well painted picture.

Blessings, Graham.

01/13/14

Something about your simple line 'wood and concrete sighing and whispering' captured my attention so vividly that I went back to find so many more exquisite hidden gems.

umm it was lovely savoring the nuances of your prose.

01/15/14

Absolutely stunning word art! This beautiful poem paints one powerful picture after another and then ends with the masterpiece! Terrific job!

01/16/14

Congratulations!

God bless~

01/16/14

A well deserved win. Congratulations!

Margaret Kearley

01/16/14

I'll say it again, this was SO beautiful. Many congrats Melanie.

01/17/14

Congratulations Melanie on your 2nd place win which was much deserved for this lovely poem.

Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark

01/17/14

I am in awe of the exquisiteness of the lines written here. A sumptuous feast indeed.

Thank you for the beauty . . .
Congratulations!
KJV Hebrews 10:26-31

Hugs in and through and because of Him,

Judi

01/17/14

Excellent imagery throughout every verse of this winning entry. This is one of those poems that deserves a second read, just to enjoy all the pictures you painted with your crafted words. Congrats on placing 2nd in the EC listing.