The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 462 times
Member Comments
Oh, Oh, Oh!! I so LOVE this story. Your humor is brilliant and I found myself covering my mouth and squeezing my legs together as I laughed so hard I'm old so I figured you'd understand the squeezing my legs, plus my doctor just put me on a diuretic-oh but I digress. Back to all the wonderful things in your story.This is so good and your descriptions so divine that because I'm a tad claustrophobic, my heart started pounding at the description about being in the trunk. I think the best line was also the one with the most impact--about knowing you were in the youth room because of the echoes. This is one of my all-time favorites. My son is at Duke studying to be an ordained UMC minister and he really wants to work with youth. I'm sending him this link right away. I hope he doesn't change his mind...
A good fun entry with aclear warning: "Do not try this at home."
Maybe another title could be "Pastor Joke!"
Oh my, so funny. I hope your MC isn't still tied up somewhere. I enjoyed this! Keep writing.
This MC was one cool dude under pressure and must have really loved his kids, I would have been much more concerned about what was happening and if it weren't as innocent as I was hoping that it was. But then I have pretty extreme claustrophobia, I would have been freaking out... I liked the suggestion of the "Pastor Joke" title. This was very suspenseful writing. It did leave me wondering what ended up happening though, it was probably designed that way. Blessings...
Please could we have chapter 2 at some future point? You left me hanging. Still, preferable to being tied up with a bag over my head, little monsters. You get full marks for originality and your ability to draw the reader in and keep 'em guessing. Hope they provided a bucket for his most basic needs!
Delightful! I would enthuse more but for some strange reason - I must run to the bathroom. You must not write of such things when elderly folk such as me must wee . . .
Hey where's the rest of the story??? ;-}
Liked your MC's self dialogue and your story overall was cute and entertaining.
And the bounty posted for the ring leaders was what? Surely, there was one. A fun read that suggests maybe this is based on experience and not imagination.