The Official Writing Challenge
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Suspenseful and riveting, well done.
Very atmospheric and moody, with a unique writing style. I liked it a lot, especially not knowing who the "watcher" was for so long. Word choice: "taunt" means a sarcastic insult. You may have meant "taut", which means tense.
Wow. What is it with you making me cry? This was a hard read - but only because it was so emotional for me for my own distinct reasons. Great job.
Definitely a gripping tale, particularly when Sonja tries to drown herself. Careful on puncuation, it was distracting a couple of times. Nicely crafted!
Nicely done -I can't swim, so the water scenes were extra tense for me!
My, such effective description! I felt that I was right there! Powerful.
This is so gripping. Great images. Well crafted. In other words, Wow!
Very well written, creative and emotion invoking. Great job Pat! It felt like you actually lived the drowning experience in your mind as you portrayed it through your words. I also liked guessing at who was watching, not knowing if their intentions would be helpful or harmful. Excellent!
Well done! I especially liked the "watcher", too. :-)
Ooh ... yes ... dark but at least with a strong ray of hope and life at the end. The drowning experience was powerfully written. This line was particularly touching: "Her tearless sorrow sank deeper than the well of tears she stored inside."

You integrated the words of the song and the girl's distress just beautifully.
Lake Harris will never be the same:) I loved this! I was there with her and I especially loved the beginning and having the watcher watch like that. Great job!
Extremely creative. Grabbed my attention and I couldn't wait to get to the end to find out what happens. Well done.
Great suspense! I couldn't stop reading I had to find out who the watcher was!
A very accurate portrayal of a depressed person. The identity of the waiting watcher added suspense. May all mothers be as patient, loving and perceptive.