The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1242 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/18/12
I like this.

There was a POV shift towards the middle, from Tilly to the verger and back to Tilly again.

I was wondering what "William" this was... I figured it must have been a famous one. :)

02/18/12
This is beautiful. I assume this is a fictional story based on facts? Either way, it's a lovely story. Well done.
02/19/12
Interesting read-and on topic.I enjoyed this poignant story. Nicely done. God bless~
I loved this story!
Very interesting and unique. You write beautifully!
Oh, to be in England again! You caught the whole feel of it and even though I had a suspicion of what Tilly was about I was still drawn in and delighted with every description. Interestingly, the change in POV did not detract from the flow but added, in my personal opinion.
02/20/12
I enjoyed your way of describing the rigors of growing old Very much. Funny stuff, I pray I live long enough to sympathize with your MC.

I absolutely loved..."By the time the birds were tuning up, Tilly was on her way. Shambling along the footpath, head down, wary of hazards; one determined step after another until she came to the gate" Just lovely! I was right there with her seeing, hearing her surroundings.

I was confused by whether she had dentures in?? I read the 2nd paragraph over and over, still couldn't figure it. But that could be because I'm not familiar with the genre.

All in all, it was a sweet story and I enjoyed reading it very much.

Oh I enjoyed this. Your details were grand! People have commented that I give too much detail when referring to poo, I never understood the concerns until I shuddered over the dentures bit! I guess some people get queasy with mouth while for me the trigger is saliva and other yucky mouth stuff. As i am typing this, I have a huge grin plastered across my face so even though I shuddered I did so enjoy it.I'm embarrassed that I don't know my history well enough to know who William and his daughter are but that didn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying this piece.
Congratulations for ranking 8th in level 4 and 12th overall!