Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)
-
TITLE: in the aging mellow of an October day | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jim McWhinnie
10/14/11 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
a savory, smoky day, when the changing begins
in slow and quiet ways, the gentle ways, the ways of growing old,
when the deepening of the last, past summer’s joy
into rustic, rusting honey-gold,
the bounder came,
with flicking tail of gray and fuzzy furry,
with twitching nose searching through the autumn air,
seemingly in determined, hurried care,
losing time, losing light, a hidden harvest he must find,
too much chattering in fussy fights with calico cat and hunting hawk,
too much chasing old friends up and down and down and up
the oak tree bark and the pine tree branch,
too much time, lost and gone,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
where is that morsel, where is that stash,
here and there, two hops, three, where oh where,
near the unpainted, wooden, split rail fence,
behind the old man’s Adirondack chair,
here, there, seems I’ve looked almost everywhere,
ah, I found one, I mustn’t share,
must tuck away for a winter’s day,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
Oh, no, the cat!
scrambling, scattering, off and away,
in the aging mellow of an October day.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Mona
1. How well did this entry fit the topic? 0
2. How creative, unique, fresh and memorable was this entry? 4.9
3. How well crafted was this entry (grammar, predictability)? 4.6
4. Did the entry start well? 4.7
5. Did the entry come to a satisfying conclusion? 4.8
6. Was this entry clearly written and communicated? 4.6
7. Did it flow smoothly? 5.0
8. How publishable is this entry for its target audience? 4.5
I could see this in a children’s book with wonderful illustrations of the animals.
Thoroughly enjoyed! Blessings.
children's story. Also, a comment from my wife Gill - veeery goood!