The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 664 times
Member Comments
Because you asked...

I had to go look up on the lam because I kept expecting for there to be a lamb involved. :) sorry. just wasn't an idiom I knew.

I think the story is good enough, but there seemed to be a little lack of tension. The tension was there in your MC but as a reader I was with the secondary character saying, "why are you freaking out?" So if there was a way to switch that- make us believe that there really was something wrong, it'd have worked better for me. Or if the punch line was that it was her fault and the friend was wrong- that would have done it.

But as is, it's a cute story for me. One I could easily be part of- flipping out over something I really didn't need to.

It's well-written, and I know you're a great writer, so I really think it's just that next deeper level of ramping up the tension and getting the reader to feel it.

Hope that makes sense.

I still think you are a superb writer :)
Good story about worrying for nothing. Plenty of errors in there to fret about - I'm sure we've all been somewhere near this, worrying about speed cameras getting us etc. etc. etc. Thanks!
Right before my friend left for a trip to England, we went to dinner and I amused her with a red light story on the drive home. As we approached a real red light and she didn't slow, all I could say was, "It's red, it's red, it's red," like a robot. Thank the Lord the pickup truck in the intersection stopped because we didn't. She just knew the red light camera police would send her a ticket, but they didn't. Still not the best way to see a friend off to England though ;-)

I agree with Lynn's comments, except I think on the lam is pretty well known. But I've had to look up more than one such term before.

Thanks for sharing your story!
This was a good story with a good message...What I received was "trust God, and do not worry about things"
i enjoyed it...God Bless~
I agree with what has been previously said - it was tough for me to connect with the tension of the story, and as a person who is often the level-headed one, the MC was tough to relate to. Your pacing was great, though, and I loved the ending.
This story could have also fit “much ado about nothing!” LOL I found the MC herself more frustrating than comical, but still her brain seemed to be flashing plenty of errors to her. This was well written with good visuals.
I hate that sinking feeling I get when I hit something! Your MC's reaction was really over the top and it's not the way I would react. I wouldn't be looking for an arrest warrant - so, parts of the story I found to be unbelievable. I wanted to slap some sense into the girl.