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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Dropout (05/12/11)
Bowed by Doubt


Their faces radiant,
speaking in one refrain.
Seeing their excitement
cause Thomas an inner pain.

“Jesus came to see us!
Oh brother, you weren’t here.
He arose! He’s alive!”
Each eye held a tear
`
I, the only one,
He came to all the rest.
Was I not worthy?
The others He did bless.

I was His disciple
for those three short years.
His great love and wisdom,
they calmed all my fears.

“I myself have doubts,
my faith is growing weak.
I need more than words.
Evidence I do seek.

The nails those hands
driven to the cross did pin;
it’s there I must place
my fingers deep within.”

7 days, a week crept by,
My misery increased.
No word from Jesus,
perhaps He is deceased.

Through locked doors He’s in our midst,
“Peace, do not fear.
Thomas, shed those doubts,
for your thoughts I did hear.

Thrush forth your hand
put it deep into My side.
Strengthening your faith,
there you are to abide.”

Felled before my Master,
Knees could hold me not.
He loved me then as now,
humbled, bowed by doubt.

“My Lord and My God,”
I had no other words.
No place for questions
before the Lord of lords.

“Thomas, gladly you hear Me
and see My face.
Believe because of this?
Faith is born of grace.

Tell others I love them.
Cast their doubts on Me.
Lose not one is My desire
all must believe.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Linda Goergen
05/20/11
I have to agree a bit with Garry, I think the subject is too serious for a sing-song rhyme style and would have liked to have seen this done more free form. In addition much of the rhyme did seem forced, especially in stanza six. Seemed awkward just to fit the rhyme. That being said, I think this could easily be reworked to be a very powerful poem about Thomas because you had some very good vision within! But, I also didn’t completely see it fitting the challenge either because I don’t think Thomas’s doubt would make him a dropout…but then maybe he was temporality? I really did enjoy the read but sorry, just giving my honest critique, as I saw it.
Clyde Blakely
05/21/11
I very seldom do poetry because there are always those who will absolutely tear it apart and find nothing of value in it. I'll stick with prose where there seems to be a little more compassion.
Linda Goergen
05/21/11
I personally prefer honest critique to compassion for that is how I grow as a writer. I am very, very sorry if anyone was offended by my doing that, I thought that was what we were supposed to do! Also, the poem had a lot of value and I will gladly restate that.
Joe Moreland
05/21/11
I can't be positive if the response to comments above is from the author or not, but if it is, I am saddened. I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to poetry, but I can tell that Garry and Linda are and they are giving honest feedback, including what they like about your work. We should feel blessed that we have access to the insights of others who give of themselves to help us grow in their writing. Without hones critiques from other writers, Faithwriters would be a much poorer place for all of us.