The Official Writing Challenge
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I felt a little confused at first, but when I reread it the light bulb came on. You did a great job of showing the despair of the MC and of Granny. It would make a great opening chapter to a novel. I want to hear so much more about these wonderful characters you've introduced me to. Good job in bringing the reader in and making me hunger for more.
Really like the twist in this. You just never know who you may be talking with!
Nice pace and I loved the twist at the end...but I sort of saw it coming. Sequal? How about the grumpy granny share details that dive into why the family is such a mess...and can I order a glimmer of hope for the metal-faced girlto move on without repeating previous generations mess? Are Granny's toenails painted? Just curious. :P
Hmmm, interesting twist. No such thing as a coincidence though
I love the way your story unfolded. Your character "names" were just plain fun! :) Now I want to know what happens when Granny learns Lola IS her granddaughter! :)