The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Enjoyed the dialogue of the garden members & the gardener.

I think you meant Evel Knievel. (?)

I think I'd like the story better without that last line. It kind of distracted from the message.
Very creative story! I loved the names of each character. I can see this published as a picture book. I do agree with the previous comment, that the story was great, but the last line is unnecessary. It took away from the magic of the moment for me and I had to look back to through the story to figure out where the fever induced coma came from.
Very creative entry about the Father pruning us branches grafted into Jesus, the vine, and how being pruned hurts but benefits us in the long run.
Personally, I would have ended it at "Harry chimed in." as you did such a wonderful job with the parable.
How very true! And yes, I agree with the others—you didn't need that last line.
Clever and descriptive!