The Official Writing Challenge
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Well, your title explained what happened, because I was a little confused as to where he was going. The dialog is done well in keeping the local slang just rightly tempered for the character, but it was a tad distracting at times, because I just wanted the story to continue-lol. Still, a good job! Interesting read!
Yes, I had quite a bit of trouble with the dialogue until I started reading it outloud. If flowed better then. But still rather distracting. I liked the point of view a lot though.
Creative. I enjoyed this unique story. Good work.
I enjoyed this story very much...did I detect a little cajun in that dialect?
Thank you by the way for your kind words about my story about my brother.