Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Up and Down (04/02/09)
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TITLE: True Freedom | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kellie Henningsen
04/06/09 -
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7:00 AM More office workers are starting to arrive so I’m keeping busy. They always hurry in toting their briefcases and talking on cell phones. I take them where they want to go and watch them scatter like mice into their cubby holes.
9:00 AM For two hours now I’ve been working non stop. I’m looking forward to a little break as most everyone is at work. However, I’m being summoned again so no rest for the weary.
My doors open and I cringe at the sight of the cynical Hazel Lane. She struts in and starts pecking at my buttons like an obsessed woodpecker. Her spiky heeled designer shoes dig into me which further increases my disdain for this woman. She realizes my button for floor eight is not working at the moment, so she pounds at it with agitation. Ha! She just broke a nail. Guess I can finally let her have her way. Just before my door closes, an older gentleman I have never seen before squeezes inside.
BUMP!
9:05 AM “Maintenance? Yes, this is Jennifer, from Dr. Cleaver’s office, the pediatrician on the sixth floor. Yes, it appears that the elevator is stuck. There’s a woman yelling, and she’s starting to scare the children so please hurry!”
Hmmm, I wonder what’s wrong with me. I’ve never been stuck before. I smile and relax against my cables. The old crab has no idea who she’s dealing with. Mr. Lane is the kindest, gentlest man I’ve ever had the privilege to carry, and I’m in no rush to allow her to ruin his day.
9:45 AM She’s been on the phone incessantly complaining to everyone from her limo driver, to her manicurist, to her beleaguered best friend. If she dares to dial one more time…I might have to have a sudden drop in altitude!
“Having a rough day?” the gentleman inquires from his position on the floor where he is reclining against my back wall.
Hazel slowly turns her perfectly painted face towards the unsuspecting passenger. “Bad day? Is that what you asked? How about a bad life?”
For the next forty-five minutes, she unloads on the man. I don’t know how he can take it. I almost open my doors to free him from this torture but can’t yet bring myself to do it.
10:30 AM The men are running scans on my computer systems now, but they have yet to find the glitch. Good luck with that, guys! I wonder how long before they override my systems and force me to work.
“I’m sorry things have been so rough. I’m Craig, by the way.”
Ahhh…the guy finally has a chance to speak.
“Listen, Carl..or whatever,” she spits out. “I’m not interested in making a new friend. I just want to get out of this ridiculous contraption and get on with my day. Once I get Henry to sign these divorce papers, I’ll be free…finally free!”
10:45 AM I can’t stall any longer. I make some groaning sounds, give a little lurch, and start to move up once again.
“Thank you, Jesus!” exclaims Hazel.
“Yes,” Craig quietly prays, “thank you, Lord.” Hazel looks momentarily distracted. The doors open and Craig steps out while she gathers up her things including a small piece of paper she finds on the floor.
Flipping the paper over, she reads these words, “Only I can set you free. Henry can tell you how. Talk to him. You won’t regret it. God.”
Hazel stumbles out of me now and walks slowly towards Henry who is anxiously waiting for her.
“Honey, are you ok?” he asks nervously.
“I don’t know…I feel a little…disoriented. Where’s Craig?” she asks searching the room.
“Who?”
“The man on the elevator. Where is he?”
“Honey, you were the only one in there.”
I smile as they start towards me but then wisely decide on the stairs instead. I can hear their voices echoing as they make their way down – down to talk about true freedom.
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It's probably just me, but this would have had more impact for me if Hazel's elevator companion had been an actual person who had somehow changed her life.
Your writing is creative and skillful, and I enjoyed reading this very much.