The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/31/09
Beautifully written, and very evocative of the time and place.

I wasn't clear on what caused Ned's change of heart. I'd have liked to be privvy to just another sentence or two of his thoughts at that point.

I love the tone of this sweet story.
02/03/09
Home is where the heart is. This is beautiful.
Lisa's comment makes sense. Wish there was more! Good descriptions, put us right there with him, right in his mind and heart.
02/04/09
You have a very nice writing style...I enjoyed your story, a vivid and descriptive tale...and yes, I wish you had more words to make a stronger connection as to his change of mind and heart. Great job.