The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/22/08
Very effective article that should be especially interesting to teen girls.

Mia seemed younger than 22, which I assume would be a graduate student at a university--still at home and answering to her mother, for example. I wonder if it'd work better if she were a high school student, or even an undergrad.

Really good job at capturing the "mask" that many young women wear to cover their agony.
08/25/08
Very good story of a young woman who puts on a facade for the world. Nice descriptions. Good job.
You've captured the heart of a hurting young woman beautifully, and it's a charade every person plays at one time or another. Nice work. Blessings, Cheri
08/25/08
So sad...yes, part of the disease of anorexia is the deceiving and lying and pretending all is well.
Very well written.
I don't know where to begin. This entry touched me deeply and I loved how well you expressed the emotions of this young lady. You did a great job my faithwriter friend.
You painted a picture with words that made me see very clearly the young woman and her facade. Excellent writing.
Good characterization of your MC. This is well written, too.
08/27/08
I like the description of "Mom's morning drum ritual played on her bedroom door." Your ending paragraph is a jaw-dropper. Excellent work with this story! This is perfect for the topic. Wow!
08/27/08
You really captured the angst and agony of sadly, many young women these days. Hope Mia goes on to find the One who can fill that hole in her heart. Wonderful writing!
08/27/08
Oh, this is so good. And a message that needs to be heard. So well done!
08/28/08
You captured this charade well. How many hurting young women are out there with whom we cross paths every day, and don't even realize. Thanks for making me think... Good job.

By the way, my daughter is 22 and still lives at home and I've had to wake her up a time or two so she's not late for class. I think some young women 'bloom late' as I get might have been the case with your MC, especially if she's dealing with emotional issues.

08/28/08
I meant to say you captured the topic of charade well...
The discriptive writing is so vivid your reader can feel the MC's very sad emotions.
08/28/08
Great characterization of your MC. Thanks for exposing this charade.