The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A child's love is so amazing. A mother's love is even more amazing. I like what you've portrayed. Nice work.
This is very heart-warming. I loved that little John-John saved a piece of chicken for his mother. :) The dialog between mother and son was just plain fun and cute. John-John is such a loveable character.
I thoroughly enjoyed the interplay between mother and son. It seemed authentic and realistic. I did find the first line a bit of a struggle and had to read it a few times to figure out who was who and who was speaking. I would have appreciated quotation marks around all dialogue as well, because using them sometimes but not every time caused me to pause as I figured out whether it was spoken or not, etc. I found delightful the discovery of chicken in John-John's various pockets.
A very believable, charming, enjoyable entry. Thanks for writing it!