The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Make Hay While the Sun Shines" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (03/06/08)
“Say bye-bye to Mommy,” my husband prompts Baby Lisa.

“Bye-bye, Baby-doll,” I grab my toddler’s chubby fist and leave a loud kiss, one that tickles her, and she giggles. She waves her little hand happily in my face and I laugh.

“Be good for Daddy,” I call as they drive away. The house feels quiet and empty, but I’m so excited to be alone for the first time in days, I hardly notice. I run down the hallway, doing a Tom Cruise slide as I enter the bathroom. I can’t wait to get into my new swimsuit and climb into the pool. Alone!

What a nice word…a lovely word… I coo to myself as I pull the new suit out of my drawer. I give it a shake and smile at the flounced skirt that covers the bottom. The catalog called it “sexy,” but I call it “camouflage”.

I throw off my jammies and begin pulling the suit over my body. The suit smashes my tummy flat in my final tug, and I instantly feel more glamorous and slim. I face the mirror, and the wind swooshes out of my sails. Ugh.

My body looks svelte and trim where the suit is covering it, but my legs, hips, and thighs look like they belong to my grandmother! Varicose veins are peeking through the pasty white skin on my legs, and there’s definitely a cottage-cheese factory working under the skin of my thighs. Then my eyes travel up to my arms, and I gasp at the extra flesh being pushed out of the straps and around the suit under my arms. I look like that marshmallowy thing that sells tires, rolls of flesh poufing out from under the suit in every direction. Oh, bad!

I lean forward over my tummy and look down at my cheerful neon pink-tipped toes. I painted those toes, painstakingly, last night in anticipation of this moment, and nothing is going to stop me from enjoying my two hours alone in the pool.

I trot to the kitchen and pick up the basket I’d packed earlier. Inside are tucked girlie necessities: chocolate and a phone. One last thing to check and I’ll be on my way to mommy nirvana.

I carefully move the kitchen curtains aside and scan the backyards of both neighbors.

Good, good, good…no one’s out this early…Yay!

I do a wiggle dance on the slippery floor and laugh out loud that my day is working just as I planned…well, except for the swimsuit…but…shake it off, Lady, and get out there!

“You go, Girl…you go, Girl” I chant as I cha-cha out the door to my backyard.

I arrange my basket close to the pool’s side and glance one more time at the adjacent yards before I begin the climb up the pool ladder.

The only thing I hate about our aboveground pool is this climb. It exposes my backside to anyone who is watching, so I try to slip hurriedly into the water before anyone catches a glimpse.

Ahhh…the water is nice and warm…the sun is sparkling on the surface, and my body melts into the vinyl, floating chair like I’m made of butter. I smile as I pick up the phone.

While I enjoy my long, un-interrupted chat, the neighbor’s yard begins to fill with people. The family on the left is having a huge barbecue, but I float on in oblivion.

Suddenly, a splat shakes the water, and laughing teens, trying to reach their volleyball, surround the pool. Crowds of adults in my neighbor’s yard are watching, and my neighbor raises his glass of lemonade to me in greeting. Oh no! I smile and wave.

“Having a nice float?” he calls.

“Uh…yeah…” I stammer. The kids get the ball and head back to their game.

My day is ruined. Now I’ll have to clamber out of this thing in full view of the neighbors and their guests, and I forgot my robe. Rats! Instead, I decide to stay in and keep low. Maybe the party will end soon.

My husband finds me in the pool, wrinkled as a raisin, and waterlogged, when they return two hours later. I tersely instruct him to get my robe, and he watches, amused, as I slog my way to the house, my pink toes mocking me brightly with each step.

My neighbor calls out, “Have a nice day, Liz!”

“You, too,” I mumble, red-faced and grouchy. Next time, I’m going to a spa.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1923 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Debbie Roome
03/13/08
I loved this. With 8 of us in our home, I too value my "alone" time.
Amy Michelle Wiley 
03/14/08
Fun story! Seemed like such a good opportunity, hehe. I was at a house once where the neighbors had an above-ground pool, too, only their kids liked to skinny dip! :-o Be glad you had a suit!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
03/14/08
The descriptions and the humor make this a wonderful story. I loved it.
Laury Hubrich 
03/16/08
This is sooo funny. I can certainly relate! I am glad we live in the country, far away from neighbors and I'm sure any would-be neighbors are glad, too!
Laury
Sally Hanan
03/16/08
All I can say is...where can I buy one of those swimsuits??:P
Joanne Sher 
03/16/08
Great descriptions and characterization, dear Dee. This one sounded like good therapy for you - and I LOVED reading it.
Jan Ackerson
03/16/08
SOOOO funny! Oh Dee, I love this! Your writing is always so appealing, and this is definitely one of the best.
Shelley Ledfors
03/16/08
Oh, this is just charming! SO cute and funny. There were so many things I loved but I think my favorite has to be, "I look like that marshmallowy thing that sells tires..." Now, THAT'S a visual, LOL! Thanks for a delightful entry!
Sheri Gordon
03/16/08
I love the MC--hilarious. Such a typical 'woman' voice.

In California, we have high fences around our backyards--so unless our neighbors are peeking over, this wouldn't happen. Thankfully.

Fun piece Dee. Great job.
Chely Roach
03/17/08
One word: Hilarious.
Arlene Baker
03/17/08
As a sister past the 1/2 century mark...I howled and howled and howled! Great story! But, I will make sure I never paint my toes any neon color!
Lyn Churchyard
03/17/08
This was a hoot! I loved your MC's "I look like that marshmallowy thing that sells tires, rolls of flesh poufing out from under the suit in every direction." Oh yeah, I can relate to that :)
So well done Dee!
Yvonne Blake 
03/17/08
Ha..Ha..Ha.. I love the lines of vericose veins and cottage cheese. I've gotten prematurally excited over a bathing suit too.
This must have been fun to write. Thanks for the laugh.
Marita Vandertogt
03/18/08
Yah - I put my bathing suit away a few years ago... now I'm kinda glad I did. This was hilarious - thanks for a good laugh!!
Debbie Wistrom
03/18/08
I felt for your MC, the need for time alone and all the agony of our aging bodies. Thanks for the romp.
Patty Wysong
03/19/08
How did you get alone time and I didn't?!? LOL--I LOVE this!! The humor sparkled from start to finish--and you understand that magic word...alone. *sigh*
Super-duper job!! (I'm still chuckling!!)
Joshua Janoski
03/19/08
"I run down the hallway, doing a Tom Cruise slide as I enter the bathroom."

"I look like that marshmallowy thing that sells tires"

The lines above are just a couple that made me chuckle. This story was hilarious and so much fun!

I hope you place high this week, because this story is a masterpiece. :)
Sara Harricharan
03/19/08
heehee! Aww, poor Liz! I'm with her on the Spa deal! I loved the build up to getting some time alone to hang out in her own pool. I loved your title too-it's fun to know I'm not the only one who likes to cheer myself up with a colorful mani/pedi.

RED INK: this line seemed awkward for me: "Inside are tucked girlie necessities" Otherwise, really fun read! ^_^
Loren T. Lowery
03/19/08
Thank for lifiting my spirits today. I think I've had a few neighbors just like her, and now I can see it from her POV. : ) Well done and thanks again.