The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh how He works for our good, if we just open out eyes. Thanks for the vision of Lily Beth, I don't think I'll forget her for some time.
I've often wondered if some of the frustrating things that happen are to protect us but we don't usually have any way of knowing for sure most of the time. This is a time when she did find out! yeah!

It helps us as readers if you separate your paragraphs. Another tip that was given to me to to show us instead of tell us.. ie.. more dialogue.. more of her actual thoughts.

I really liked the drama and the scary storyline! It sounds like a book a would pick up to read.
Yes, Lily is quite the character and you painted her personality well. This line made me chuckle: It is a “ponytail day” she assessed as she frantically searched for anything that would hold her massive mane.
I've certainly said that a time or two... :)