The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Nicely done! I actually thought about doing this story too! You did a much better job than I would have!
Your title intrigued me, and your tale entertained me. I felt quite anxious for the mother. Thanks for a wonderful read.
Good retelling of this story.
Your title is great to start this…your descriptions of little Benjamin were so poignant. I love that you chose this Bible story… you’ve written this sooo perfectly… with so much emotion. I also appreciated your name choices. Very good work on this. After reading your story…your title is perfect.
I was enthralled with this from the first line. You made this story come to life for me, as I could feel Rachel's emotion. What horror! Exceptional.
The whole story is magnificent, but the first two paragraphs are especially well-written.

A few times, you clumped together sentences, particularly with dialogue, that should have been separated out like the rest of the paragraphs--mildly distracting.

This story breaks my heart every time, and every time I hear it I'm relieved that the baby is spared. Great job!