Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)
TITLE: Prince Charming, Pumpkins, Poisoned Apples and Plan B
By Melanie Kerr
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Oh yes, I was there! I was the late arrival. I bet you had no idea the carriage was really a pumpkin, or that the two footmen were really mice. The dress was spun by real spiders and tiara contained real stars! It’s amazing what the flick of a magic wand can do. It was all pointless in the end. I didn’t stay long. The pumpkin and I were home well before midnight. Incidentally, I have a wonderful recipe for pumpkin soup.
As it happened, Prince Charming had found some woman in a glass coffin in the woods on the way to the ball. Does the name Snow White mean anything to you? There was a suspicious looking band of vertically challenged men involved in it all. Rumour has it that she had been living with them for a while.
She apparently ate a poisoned apple. The step mother was a bit of a head case - aren’t they all? - and in a fit of jealous rage tried to kill the girl. It wasn’t her first attempt either. There was something about a poisoned comb too. I wonder if the Prince realises the kind of in-laws he is marrying into!
Love’s true kiss? Give me a break! A nifty bit of tongue manipulation on his part managed to dislodge the poisoned apple! He fell in love and she fell in love straight back. He presented her to the king and queen as a done deal. The whole purpose of the ball, to find him a wife, evaporated like the morning dew. The rest of us women were left kicking the heels of our glass slippers and chasing around the garden to catch and kiss frogs. Apparently frogs are not always what they appear to be.
So there I was. The late arrival. I was ready to stun the prince with the dress, glass slippers and a cool hairdo. I had practised the dance moves, planned to wait until the clock struck midnight and then make my dramatic exit conveniently leaving one of the glass slippers behind. No one has small feet like mine. It should be a cinch to track me down, get me to try on the slipper. Of course it’s going to fit and then I pull out the other shoe from a pocket. Then there’s a big wedding and we all live happily ever after - most of us anyway.
But as I say, that didn’t happen on account of the woman, Snow White, in the glass coffin. Ah well, the best laid plans of fairy godmothers don’t always come to pass. There are just too many would-be princesses in the world and too few princes to go around. Prince Charming has been charmed by another and my plans for a wedding have been scuppered. It’s a bit of a bummer. Kissing frogs is out, of course, but I have just come up with Plan B.
These two glass slippers must be worth quite a bit. I don’t think they are glass at all and the sparkly bits are definitely diamonds. If I think this through properly I could probably sell them separately on Ebay. Imagine the frustration of two people travelling the world asking unsuspecting young ladies to try on the slipper believing their “Cinderella” would be able to produce the matching shoe from her pocket! It is a bit small minded of me I admit!
What would I spend the money on? Well I have a couple of ideas. I happen to have a lot of experience in housework so I could set up my own cleaning business. I would have to train people though and take on more of a supervising role. Or seeing as the mice are really good at making dresses, I could open a very exclusive shop. I would have to get a contract written up to share the profits with the fairy godmother. Obviously the terms of employment for the mice would also need some clear thinking.
My exclusive shop would have to be exclusive enough to exclude Snow White naturally. When all is said and done she did steal Prince Charming from me.
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